Reckless Abandon
by hollow echos
Summary: The team goes off world to help with a routine evacuation mission during a monsoon. Rodney's left behind on the planet and water levels are rising. Our favorite scientist is left praying for a miracle and a last minute rescue from his teammates.
1. Sometime it Rains

**Author's Note:** This story was written for the 2010 genficathon hosted on Live Journal. A huge shout out goes to Rusting_roses for her wonderful betaing, for listening to my frustrations with this fic, for helping me ironing out the plot, and for being an all around awesome person. This story might not have happened without her support. Updates will be posted regularly until story is complete. Complete fic word count is 27,000 words.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 1 – Sometimes it Rains

"Why do I need to go on this mission again?" Rodney asked as he slumped into the chair next to Sheppard in the front of the jumper.

Sheppard calmly responded as he began the sequence of commands that would activate the jumper, "I figured you could probably use a hiatus from the lab. I sometimes think the fumes down there get you a little wonky after a few days of holing up down there."

Mckay fumbled with the seatbelt before snapping back, "The lab only smells a _bit _fishy! We back right up to the desalination unit; it helps with our cooling system for all of the critical projects we're working on. But besides your personal sadistic streak, that doesn't explain why I need to be going."

The jumper began moving, the bay doors opening as they dropped into the gate room at Sheppard's command. "These people are our trading partners. That means we are somewhat obligated to help them in periods of duress. God knows we've asked the same of our allies during our times of need."

Rodney still wasn't entirely sold on the idea though; he had been supposed to run some diagnostics on a jumper that hadn't been performing at full power output lately. This little detour was going to mean a late night and a caffeine binge if that jumper was going to be ready for a mission tomorrow. He doubted Elizabeth would rearrange the schedule just to give him an extra day. He threw a glance back at his teammates who were settled on opposite benches in the rear of the jumper, "Teyla, can you give us a few more details on what to expect?"

Teyla looked at him calmly, "All of the information I possess on the Verdeans is in the mission report Colonel Sheppard asked me to prepare. I don't know what else I could add."

Rodney huffed a bit and said something under his breath before addressing her again, "Normally I'd have read the report, but only if I am given ample notification that we are going off world," he said a bit bitterly, throwing a sideways glance at Sheppard in pilot's seat. "Sheppard dragged me out of bed and right down here saying we had to go. I didn't get a chance to read the mission briefing."

Teyla nodded. "The world we are visiting is what my people know as Verdea. There are two rival ethnic groups on this planet, the Serns and the Koles. While tensions run high, for the past several seasons they have maintained a strained peace. The Sern faction has a new leader that is pressing for expansion of territory into what have traditionally been Kole lands."

McKay absorbed that, "And how does this beg our involvement?"

"The Serns are a larger faction with a stronger military; they have been more aggressive in their warring tactics recently. The Kole maintain small military outposts in different communities. A large Sern contingent has barricaded one such community on a narrow peninsula. With monsoon season currently in progress on this planet, water levels have steadily risen and the Kole are suffering extreme flooding with no route of escape."

"Ok, I follow you so far…but I'm still not seeing where we come in here."

"This is a community that we trade with regularly, both here on Atlantis and my people on the mainland. The Athosians have extended an invitation for temporary refuge for these individuals until the monsoon season ends in a few weeks and they can return to their settlement if the water levels have dropped sufficiently. They may also travel to another Kole city by sea when the waters are calmer to bypass the blockade by the Serns. The gate is on an island and we will be helping to transport their elderly and children to it to avoid putting them at risk on the open water."

McKay scrunched his brow a bit at this, "The Ancients were generally a pretty smart bunch. The gates have always been in an easily accessible location before. So why would they switch it up and go for an island venue all of a sudden?"

Sheppard knew the answer to this one and chose to chime in. Of course, he had also had the answer provided to him in the mission report. But no reason to let McKay know that, he couldn't avoid outclassing the brilliant astrophysicist on the rare occasions he was able to "Planets aren't static all the time, Mckay. Things change, climates change. The piece of land was originally attached to the mainland when the Ancients built the gate there but water levels have risen and turned it into an island."

"That was a rhetorical question, Sheppard. I was just thinking out loud," Mckay responded, "Again, if we're playing pack mule for these folks, why am I along? Usually I leave the heavy lifting to you guys while I put my brain to good use."

Ronon's expression failed to hide his irritation. Of course McKay was looking at him when he said the bit about heavy lifting, but he wasn't all brawn. He let his anger fade though, as there was work enough to be done in the near future, he thought as he leaned back against the hull and closed his eyes to rest for the few moments of quiet they had left. He'd probably be doing lots of that lifting soon enough.

Sheppard grinned a bit, "Think Noah's Ark. The jumper's the ark; you're the mechanic who runs around making sure we don't spring a leak or dip out of the sky because of a short out or something. It's just in case we need some tech assistance, otherwise we'll let you stay in the jumper."

Mckay leaned back in his seat at that, "I suppose that's an acceptable compromise. I do have my tablet. I have some calculations I can work on while you guys are out dancing in the rain."

Sheppard's smirk widened, "Of course McKay, wouldn't want you to melt or anything."

Ronon peaked one eye open, "Probably a good idea. McKay's squawking when he has to suffer a little discomfort is as bad as the birds that we had back on Sateda."

"Hey! I resent that comparison. My conversation is probably the most stimulating you'll find anywhere."

Ronon shrugged, "Even the birds were good for something, made great target practice," he said, a hand settling lightly over his gun.

Rodney's eyes opened a bit wider and he kept his mouth closed, turning his attention forward again as the jumper advanced through the gate and into the downpour beyond.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

McKay was huddled by the edge of the open jumper. It'd been three hours and they'd made two trips to the peninsula, if it could be called that. Most of the community had been under a good foot of water by the time they'd gotten there. Sheppard had set them down on the roof of a building and the settlers had come slogging up with bundles of possessions, packing into the back of the jumper like cattle. He'd had to stick his tablet into his raincoat to prevent it from getting wet. Keeping anything dry in a monsoon was a challenge and electronics and water didn't exactly mix.

That was the reason why he was running one final diagnostic on the jumper. Monsoon had been an understatement. The water was falling in a continuous sheet. Most of the settlers had made the trip by water in tiny canoe-like boats that Rodney had been amazed had survived the waves out on the open sea. From where the jumper was parked near the gate he'd watched the tiny lanterns bob on the waves, one for each boat coming in. Ronon and Teyla had been making trips back and forth from the shore, helping exhausted, soaked Koles carry their possessions up the slippery, rocky slope and through the gate to Atlantis. Sheppard had been flying back and forth, landing only long enough to pick up or drop off people before taking off again. They had made their final trip though, and with good timing. Sheppard was sitting resolutely in the pilot chair, focusing on keeping the jumper hovering a foot or so above the water. They'd lost the pile of boulders they'd been sitting on to the rising water a few minutes ago and Sheppard had piloted them into the air to prevent water from pouring in through the open back hatch.

Their window for remaining here was quickly waning. The gate was not in a good position. It was on the lower end of the island, and water had started trickling through the gate at first, but reports were coming through from the gate techs that didn't bode well. They had resorted to a bucket brigade to handle the water pouring back into the gate room. It was equipped with drains for light water drainage, but that system wouldn't make a dent in the waterfall that was currently flooding through.

Rodney flicked his attention between watching the diagnostics on his screen, searching out on the slope for his friends who were helping the last few settlers up from their boats, and the gate which was slowly disappearing beneath the water an inch at a time.

He bit his lip and typed a bit faster after taking a quick glance out at the landscape. Visibility was terrible between the heavy cloud cover and the torrential rain. They should've been back by now. They needed to go.

"Rodney, brace yourself," a voice shouted over the pounding of rain on the hull.

McKay didn't question it. When Sheppard spoke in that tone of voice you didn't argue. You listened immediately; it had saved his life more times than he could count. He set the tablet aside and slid both arms through the webbing that secured much of their equipment to the wall. He took in a sharp breath of air as a gust of wind tilted the jumper's axis sideways and his tablet began to slide.

_I can't lose that_, McKay thought, panicked. He removed one hand from the stabilizing grip he had established to lean forward for it.

Sheppard had thrown a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure McKay hadn't slid out into the water, "McKay, leave it! The wind's bad, last thing I need is you in the water!"

Rodney hesitated but drew his hand back, once again putting it to use holding on and he let out a small dismayed cry as the tablet slid down the ramp and into the water below. One less piece of technology for the mission, he brooded silently. He should've put that in with the other equipment.

His thoughts were interrupted as there was the sound of splashing. He sat up a bit straighter and tried to make out what was making the noise. There were a few deep grunts and then suddenly a pack was being thrown up into the jumper. McKay scrunched his legs up against the rest of his body to avoid getting hit.

A few more bags were thrown up and then a head appeared at the base of the ramp, followed by a torso and the rest of the body as the man clawed his way into the rear of the jumper. McKay risked letting a hand go from the webbing, leaning out to grasp the man's cold hand and pull him up.

A soaking wet Teyla was the next up, her teeth chattering as she wrapped her arms around her torso and sat down on the bench.

Sheppard was still looking forward, the wind gusts requiring his full attention to balance the jumper out as his teammates were climbing in, but he was listening intently, "McKay, what's going on?"

"Teyla and a settler are in," he shouted over the rain, watching Teyla to make sure she was ok. She was pale; water was dripping off her clothing and gathering in a small pool at her feet. She made eye contact with Rodney but made no effort to speak, the exhaustion evident from her expression, the chill evident from her body language and shivering.

The back of the jumper dipped down a bit as one more large figure climbed up over the edge, standing up on the ramp as he quickly shuffled into to the compartment, his head almost hitting the ceiling. Ronon shook his head a few times, reminding Rodney of a dog after a bath as the man's water logged dreadlocks threw water droplets in every direction. Rodney blinked as a few landed on his cheek.

Ronon dropped onto the bench, breathing hard as he reached into the webbing above him and brought down a folded wool blanket and passing it over to Teyla without any words passing between them, "That's everyone. We didn't see any more lights on the water."

Sheppard called back over his shoulder, "You're sure we aren't leaving anyone?"

Ronon nodded, "If anyone else was out there they aren't any more. The water's a lot rougher. A few boats might have flipped. We saw a few lights just go out- they didn't make it to the shore."

Rodney heard a muttered curse. Sheppard treated everyone like one of his own, whether they were a total stranger or a friend. The loss of any individual he was tasked to protect hit him hard. Rodney had silently passed the balcony John liked to frequent, had seen the man out there alone with a drink in one hand after a hard mission and knew that it meant someone was dead. That balcony wouldn't go unoccupied tonight, he thought silently.

"You're absolutely positive?"

Ronon was wringing the water out of his shirt, "I'm confident. There were no more lights."

"What if someone's lantern went out, maybe the flame went out with all the rain?"

"Maybe," he muttered without further explanation.

"Then we go back down, one more trip. I'm not leaving people here to die."

The mask Ronon normally kept in place faltered for a moment and Rodney saw the blank look in his eyes, the hunch in his frame. He was a verifiable rock, but that didn't mean he wasn't a man, a man who could feel tired and cold after being out in a monsoon. And if Ronon looked bad, Teyla looked worse.

Rodney chose then to speak, "I'll go, Sheppard. Let these two dry off."

John did look back this time, "You sure Rodney?"

Rodney nodded, "It's not far, I can be back in a few minutes."

Sheppard looked at him skeptically for a few seconds before dipping his own head in agreement, "Fine, be quick and be careful. The gate's almost halfway under water; we need to get out of here."

Rodney drew the hood of his rain jacket over his head, zipped it up as tight as it would go, and hopped down into thigh deep water. His outline quickly faded as he slogged off into the rain.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	2. Sometimes it Pours

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 2 – Sometimes it Pours

The jumper bobbed a bit with the wind as Sheppard worked to keep the jumper from barreling sideways. He had begun throwing a spare glance over his shoulder and out the back of the jumper when he could tear his attention away from his piloting, with his latest glance he narrowed in on Ronon who had scooted over next to Teyla. At some point she must have surrendered half of her blanket as they were now huddling on the bench together. He cleared his throat and shouted to overcome the background noise of the wind, "Ronon, any sign of Rodney?"

"No, I can't see far with the rain."

Sheppard let out a frustrated exhalation of air; the thought had crept into his mind almost the moment McKay had jumped out of the back of the jumper, he should've left McKay to pilot for a few minutes while he had made the last run down to the beach. "How far is it down to the coast from here, shouldn't he have been back by now?"

Ronon ignored him for a minute, focusing instead on wrapping his half of the standard military issue blanket around a shivering Teyla. Her eyes snapped back open with the flurry of his movements and the sudden absence of his body next to hers. She tried to push it back at him but even cold and tired as Ronon was, she didn't pose much of a fight and he securely bundled it around her. "Five minutes," Ronon muttered, "Maybe a few more for McKay. He's got short legs."

John nodded, "Alright, we'll give him five more minutes."

"Want me to go after him?"

Sheppard considered it, but really, McKay should be ok. He put the jumper on autopilot for the minute; the wind seemed to have granted them a momentary reprieve and died down a bit. He turned around in his chair, still close enough to grab for the controls in the occurrence of a strong draft, "We'll hold off a few more, then we'll figure out who goes if he's not back."

Ronon reached a hand up to grab a dreadlock that had escaped from the knot he was currently wearing at the base of his neck. He pushed the whipping tendril out of his face as a quick burst of air entered through the open rear hatch.

Sheppard's gaze wandered to the waterlogged landscape outside. He was mentally trying to replay the last time he had seen McKay swim. They'd all had to pass the standard military swim test to certify for off world team status, but that had been a few years ago. The last time he recalled having seen his friend take a dip was awhile ago when they'd visited Teyla's people along the coast. Even then, he'd only gone in up to his waist before releasing a yelp and declaring the water too cold for any sane person. Ronon and Sheppard had ignored him, instead rushing past and splashing him as they and dived beneath the calm waters to race out to a rock outcropping a hundred meters or so into the ocean.

"Sheppard."

He should be a strong swimmer, right? And the water was only up to his thighs or so, he shouldn't have cause to put those swim skills to the test anyways…

"Sheppard!"

John snapped his head to the rear compartment and made eye contact with Ronon.

The large man was fully alert now and sitting up straight, "Are we supposed to be moving?"

"Relax, it's the wind-"

"Our thrusters are operating."

He scrunched his brow and immediately turned back to the jumper console. They were moving toward the gate, but he wasn't doing it. This shouldn't be happening. He reached for the steering and tried to turn them back around to where they had been a few seconds ago but it seemed stuck. Sheppard swallowed. This was the last thing they needed in a storm like this with one of their people on the ground, and their only civilian team member to boot.

He grunted as he jerked the steering again, much harder this time, again, nothing. He tried pressing the sequences of buttons that would put the jumper on standby, and when that failed he tried a mental command aided by his gene. No effect. They were moving away from where Rodney was supposed to meet them, and the jumper was picking up speed.

"Sheppard, we're going to lose McKay if we keep up like this…"

"I know Ronon! I'm trying, the jumper's not responding." He tried the key command sequence again, this time pounding each key as he went, as though brute force would do the trick. He looked out the windshield to see where they were navigating. The last thing they needed was to collide with a tree or something. A confused expression passed over his face, the gate, now almost three quarter submerged, was ahead. He could imagine the gate techs having a melt down on the other side with all of this water coming in. He wondered if the gate room would be as flooded as it was out here…

And then suddenly a wormhole had formed and they were heading toward it. There was a scuttle of boots squeaking against the soaked metal floor behind him as he threw a look backward. Ronon was on his feet and at the entrance, his face gritted with exertion as he tried to force the door back open.

A flurry of panic seized John; Rodney was out there instead of in here to help them with this malfunction. Worse yet, Rodney was out there expecting them to be there when he returned. He pounded a frustrated fist against the console as they approached the gate. What the hell was he supposed to do? Despite his mental ordering, pleading, that the jumper stop, whatever command sequence had been initiated was too strong for his gene to overcome. The last thought that passed through John's mind as they approached and went through the gate was that he'd sworn to never leave a man behind.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Sheppard put the jumper down right in the gate room, not wanting to waste the time it would take to park it in the jumper bay and they make his way back down to the gate. The moment the jumper settled to the ground with solid thud he was out of his seat and making his way to the slowly opening hatch even before the thrusters were totally deactivated.

He stalked out of the jumper, momentarily sparing enough attention to notice that the gate room was in a few inches of water. Zelenka must have gotten the drains to work more efficiently somehow to have taken care of the water level this well. The thought didn't last long though, he was yelling out to the men stationed at the control panel for the gate the moment he cleared the exit and had them in sight, "What happened?"

Zelenka was standing up with the techs, a look of bewilderment on his face at the colonel's sudden outburst; he'd never seen him like this before. There was rage and panic in the man's eyes. Zelenka squinted and looked at the readings on his data pad which currently monitoring the gate activity, "I…I don't know, Colonel. We didn't dial the gate; it locked in your address automatically."

"Yeah, I didn't decide to take a reprieve back here either. The jumper started flying itself and I couldn't override." Sheppard hadn't moved far from the jumper, and was ready to dart back in at a moment's notice, "Dial it back. Now. Rodney's back there in that mess."

By now Ronon and Teyla were starting to emerge from the jumper. Ronon was helping the villager that they had brought back from the coast with his meager belongings. Zelenka looked for McKay, and when he didn't see him, the colonel's words sunk in. His friend had been left in the monsoon, without his teammates, without any resources or with the capability to get back here safely. Bad didn't _begin_ to describe this situation. He didn't speak for a moment, immediately beginning the sequence to dial the planet back. Sheppard nodded in approval as he marched back into the jumper and took up his position at the controls, ready to fly it back through the gate as soon as it was activated. Ronon had set the villager's pack on the ground and was already moving back toward the jumper. Teyla followed on his heels despite her slower movements, cold had a way of making everything more sluggish.

All eyes were on the gate as each chevron locked in. Sheppard was on edge, every muscle tensed like a wire pulled to tightly, tension to the point of almost hurting.

And as suddenly as everyone had been ready to move, the excitement died as the gate deactivated before locking the last chevron. Zelenka frowned, looking at his data pad before meeting Sheppard's questioning gaze through the windshield of the jumper. Radek shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. The frown on Sheppard's face deepened and a moment later he was up the platform standing next to Radek.

"Zelenka, we need to get back there _now. _What's wrong?"

"The gate won't dial the address," he was furiously typing on his data pad, trying to find a reason for it, "I don't know, Colonel."

"Well, try it again! I need to go back for Rodney."

Sheppard stood there impatiently as Zelenka had the gate tech enter the address again. The gate room was silent; the only audible noise was the sound of the gate dialing. On the last chevron, the gate deactivated.

Sheppard muttered a curse under his breath before addressing Zelenka again, failing to restrain the frustration in his voice, "Zelenka, what is this?"

Radek shrugged, not making eye contact, almost ashamed at his inability to help his colleague who had so often saved them all. "I need time to process the data. It appears some failsafe from Atlantis is preventing us from dialing."

"Well can you come up with a guess as to why?"

"How was the gate on the planet side?"

"Almost all the way underwater."

"That could explain it. Atlantis might have sensed that the gate was about to go under and recalled the jumper. The gate room did take some heavy flooding before I got the auxiliary drains functioning. Perhaps it was a failsafe mechanism to prevent the water levels here from getting too high…"

By now Ronon had mounted the steps and was standing just to the side and behind the Colonel, "Sheppard, we going back for McKay?"

John let out a frustrated sigh, "The gate's not working. Zelenka says he needs time to figure out how to override it."

Ronon narrowed his eyes at this, "So McKay's on his own for awhile?"

"He'll be ok. And we'll get this figured out," he turned back to Zelenka, "I need you to fix this. The gate there is on an island that was rapidly flooding. I don't know how much longer any of it will be above the water level and the closest land is not close at all. If he's there too long, he's going to be forced into the open water."

"I have already sent the data from the failed activations to the lab database. I will get all of my teams working on it."

"Good, I want a back-up plan too. We need options in case we can't get that address to dial in."

"I'll do my best, Colonel."

"You might have to do better than that. Do whatever it takes. We're not leaving Rodney out there."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	3. Left Behind

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 3 – Left Behind

Rodney held an arm out in front of his face as a barrier against the rain that was currently assaulting him. He'd seen rain back in Canada; he'd seen rain during the hurricane that had hit back on Atlantis. But this brought a new meaning to the word. It was like someone had tipped the world upside down and the ocean was falling from the sky.

He'd made it down to the beach and looked for any lights as instructed. Not seeing any, he'd waited a few more minutes and moved down closer to where the shore was, marked only by the occasional rock peaking above the rapidly rising water. He'd strained to see anything and called out several times until his throat stung from the effort. There was nothing left. There were a few boats tethered to a tree, bobbing up and down with the motion of the water, the abandoned remnants of the people who had made the treacherous water crossing. And it was treacherous; these were more canoes than boats. He could believe it when Ronon said a few had flipped on the waves. Taking one of those things across the churning waves was suicidal.

After convincing himself that no one was out there, he'd scurried up the rocky slope toward the gate, slipping on the slick stones and falling once, soaking himself up to the chest as he tried to regain his balance. The raincoat did some good for the rain, but it didn't do anything when he was half submerged in an ocean. He gave a silent thank you for the fact that Sheppard had insisted they always wear their tactical vests off world, the thick armor-grade material provided some insulation against the cold. He was ready to be done after ten minutes out here. Ronon and Teyla had been at it for hours before finally calling it quits, and they had kept trucking along until everyone was evacuated. He took a sense of pride at the thought, his teammates were dedicated, and being among them pushed him to be a better person too.

All this passed through his mind as he climbed the slope, his lungs burning as he reached the part where everything finally leveled out. He'd gone from being past his knees in water down to a few inches below the joint with the elevation increase. He looked for the lights of the jumper to guide him back to the team; it was getting darker with the waning of the afternoon. His eyebrows dipped into a furrow, he saw waves, a little bit of land, and more water, but no light. No jumper. Where were they?

He spun in a circle, was it possible he had gotten disoriented and headed in the wrong direction from the shore? His breath was quickening, "So not good. Come on McKay, we can do this…Orient yourself. Where am I?"

He squinted, examining his surroundings for any familiar landmarks. This island really was a rock though; there were a few good sized trees uphill of where the gate had sat. Those and a few shrubs that would probably be washed away with the onslaught of the ocean if the storm kept up this way.

His breath hitched in his throat. He saw the twin trees from earlier, the ones that had been near the gate before. They were the right trees; he'd remembered commenting to himself on the way down about how they leaned toward each other. One seemed to have died and tipped into the still living one, without it, it would probably have fallen long ago. This was right. He was in the right spot.

"Sheppard!" He stumbled forward, "Ronon, Teyla! You guys out there?" His voice carried out over the waves, but the howling wind soon drowned it out, leaving just the desperate man with his hoarse cry into the storm.

He was hyperventilating. The gate and the jumper had been right here…had something happened? Could the jumper have gone under? A shudder ran through his body as he remembered the time he had spent at the bottom of the ocean in what he assumed would be his crypt. He prayed that wasn't the case. Even if the thrusters had died, though, they would have fallen into this shallower bit of water. It was only up to his knees, not enough to cover a jumper. No, they hadn't sunk.

So where were his teammates? Rodney swiveled his head back and forth, looking for any sign of them. Nothing, nothing to indicate their presence here.

His heavy breathing soon mixed with a panicked sob. He was a man alone on this forsaken rock. The gate was all the way under. He might be able to try dialing if he could locate it, but with just his sight to rely on, he couldn't very well dive around at random hoping to bump into it by luck. His team was gone…why would they have left him?

"Sheppard! Teyla! Ronon," he screamed out once more, before softly speaking again as his voice trailed off, "Anyone?"

He wrapped his arms around his torso, partially to try to retain some heat, partially out of a desire to comfort himself in the absence of anyone else to be there for him. They were gone.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Sheppard had yet to sit down since he had parked the jumper in its slot in the bay. He'd already sent Ronon and Teyla down to see Carson for their post-mission physicals. They'd looked cold; at the very least he was hoping the Scot would prescribe a hot meal, a warm shower, and a few hours of rest while they figured out a way back to the planet to get McKay. Then there'd been trying to explain to Elizabeth how he'd lost their friend, their chief scientist, the most brilliant and one of the most vital men to the expedition, on a routine evacuation mission. And then there was checking in with Zelenka every chance he got until the man had finally lost his patience and told him that for every minute he spent telling Sheppard that he still hadn't solved the problem, that was another minute taken from the time he could be working on a plan to rescue Rodney.

God. McKay was out there alone. What would he be thinking right now? That Sheppard had abandoned him, that they were dead? John had tried to put mentally himself in McKay's current predicament, tried to think about how Rodney would be doing off world in a dire situation like this.

He'd tried, and then he'd tried harder to stop and silence the imagery playing though his head. He could imagine the fear and confusion that Rodney had to be feeling right now. They'd left a teammate behind. Sure, not willingly, but Rodney didn't have that piece information. He'd gone down to the shore at Sheppard's prodding for one last check, hell; he'd actually stepped beyond himself to think of his teammates. He'd let them rest and volunteered to do a pretty unpleasant task. And his reward for that? Fate had slapped him a good one in the face. For his selflessness, he had gotten left behind.

And it'd happened on John's watch. He'd lost the one civilian on his team and left him out in a monsoon, probably the person least prepared to deal with a situation like this. Ronon, Teyla, and he, they were warriors, soldiers. They knew how to keep calm, evaluate the circumstances, and optimize their chances of survival. McKay had learned a lot by going on missions, getting shot at, and having to perform first aid. But every time, John or Teyla or Ronon, they'd been there or close by to reassure him when things got bad. Even in the times when they'd been separated, Rodney could always keep faith that they would come for him. But now, God only knew what McKay was thinking. That they'd forgotten him, decided to ditch him…Now Sheppard had failed on his promise to protect his friend, and rightfully so, that thought wouldn't leave him. He never should have let McKay go out there. He knew better!

"Colonel, you look a bit tense. Everything alright?"

Sheppard stopped walking. Oh yeah, this was the next stop off on the endless list of places he had to be and people to talk to in order to coordinate the rescue effort, "Oh, um, I mean nothing's ok with Rodney out there, I assume you've heard about my latest fubar?"

Carson walked toward him in the reception area of the infirmary, sticking his hands in his pockets, his shoulders dropping a bit as he approached, "Aye, I heard about the situation, and I also heard from Teyla and Ronon that there was nothing you could've done to prevent it. So you're to leave the self-blame routine at the door."

The colonel didn't respond to that, ignoring the comment altogether. Nothing anyone said was going to deter that routine of his, "I wanted to see if you could spare a medic for when we do go off world to complete the retrieval and bring him back. Just in case…" He didn't finish the sentence, if anything had happened to Rodney because of this there wouldn't be punishment enough that Sheppard could inflict on himself to make up for this.

"Aye. I'll be going myself. My field pack's ready, just radio me when it's time and I'll be on my way to the gate room."

Sheppard gave a terse nod in appreciation. There wasn't a set of hands on Atlantis he would feel more comfortable handling Rodney than Beckett's. "Ok, I guess I'll talk to you later then. I have other stops to make, I think Zelenka's next on the list. He hopefully will have something to show for the time he's had to work on the gate issue."

He turned on his heel to walk out when a stern grip wrapped around his bicep. "Colonel, you forgetting something? I still need to do your post-mission physical."

"Beckett, there's no time for that," he said as he pulled his arm away.

"Well then we'll make the time. This isn't something I can let you skip off on," he finished in a steely voice, giving no room for arguing as he tightened his grip on John's arm and began pulling him back toward one of the examination cubicles.

Sheppard sighed but began walking with the doctor. Carson's protective streak over all of them increased exponentially when he was worrying about one of them. It was his way of defraying his concern, he took all that pent up energy and put it into hyping up his doctoring for the members of the team that were around to be heckled and poked and prodded. It was an annoyance at times like this, but Sheppard could give him this small reprieve it would give Beckett a small peace of mind.

"Thanks, Colonel. I know you want to be elsewhere. I'll be quick, just a wee listen to your heart, a few vials of blood and you'll be on your way."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	4. This is NOT an Ark

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 4 – This is NOT an Ark

Rodney was slowly climbing his way to the highest ground on the island up by that twin pair of trees he'd seen earlier. And the moving this time was much slower, he thought, as he threw a look back to see the canoe bobbing up and down on the waves as he pulled it along behind him. After calming himself down enough to start formulating a plan the first priority was gathering whatever supplies he did have. There were those boats tethered down on the beach and nothing else, really. He'd picked the one that looked the sturdiest and filled it with anything that he'd found in the other boats that looked useful. Again, that hadn't been of much use either, though he'd found two tattered blankets that were soaked through and added them to his watercraft before dragging it behind him.

It wasn't too difficult to pull along, the physics portion of his brain commented that this small bit of good fortune could be attributed to the lack of friction on water. No, for all the things that were wrong with this situation, there wasn't a need for rushing around. The water was rising steadily, but it still wasn't up to his waist and the walk up to the highest portion of the island shouldn't take him much longer.

He clamped his jaw shut as his teeth started chattering again. As soon as he managed to still that involuntary reaction the movement moved down into his shoulders where the muscles started contracting, shivering, in an effort to maintain whatever heat they had available.

He took a moment to readjust his one hand that was going a bit numb from where the scratchy rope was wrapped around it several times. The other hand was held in front of him for the inevitable times he would stumble over some unseen obstacle under the water and fall. After the second time he'd found that holding a hand out in front prepared to catch him minimized the bruises and cuts. He was pretty sure the latest memento from a fall was the bruising he could feel blossoming around his left eye.

He couldn't help but let his mind wander as he climbed. A part of him almost missed the bustle and rushing around against a deadline of some sort, whether it be finding a way to cloak the city before the wraith arrived or warding off some similar imminent disaster. Here and now, this was different. There was ocean in every direction, a small plot of stone beneath his feet, and nothing else. He was stuck here on this rock, at the mercy of the weather on this planet. There was no dazzling idea that he could use to manipulate technology into cooperating in such a way as to save him; the raw tools he worked with were back in Atlantis. He had a boat, a few soggy blankets, and somewhere he would have to find the patience to ride this out. He wouldn't be creating the miracle this time, he'd be praying for one. That alone left a solid sense of dread in his gut like a pile of smoldering cinders; he should be able to do something, anything, to better the chances of his survival. Yet the best he was going to be able to do was stay alive, stay out of the water, and stay as warm as he could and hope for Sheppard to come back for him. Who was he kidding? That was assuming that Sheppard and Teyla and Ronon were ok…he still had no idea where they might have gone, why they had left, or if they themselves were stranded somewhere in the open water.

He stopped as his hand hit something solid in front of him. Blinking his eyes a few times, he tried to force everything to come back into focus. Oh, it was one of the palm trees. He flexed his hands a few times experimentally, trying to encourage blood flow to restore feeling to them. He needed at least enough dexterity to get the rope tied around the tree. It took a few moments before he could get a full fist formed. Once he was capable of doing that, he unwrapped the boat's rope from his hand and instead began coiling it around the tree trunk and tying it off. He checked the knot to make sure it wouldn't come loose. That was one of the few things he could do to worsen his situation- float off into the ocean where his teammates might never find him.

He threw one leg over the edge of the boat, hopping a few times to build up height with each one before he attempted to jump over the side and into the canoe. The canoe rolled over, McKay's eyes stung as they were suddenly assaulted by darkness and salt water.

Suddenly disoriented he tried to take a sharp inhalation of air, only to choke on the water. He began flailing his arms around; his first priority was to get his head back above the water. It took him a moment but the blackness that he'd experienced underwater faded into the twilight of the world around him, a little light peaking in through the clouds. The boat was forgotten as he contracted his ribs, spitting out water with each hacking breath as he struggled to replace its presence in his lungs with air.

A few minutes passed in such a manner, him hunched over, steadying himself against the tree trunk as he gasped for air. When the sense of dizziness passed he stood upright and pushed a few bits of waterlogged hair out of his face with a shaking hand.

He pulled the rope hand over hand and drew the overturned watercraft toward him. Once it was close he grasped the edges and flipped it over. There was an inch or so of water in the bottom, but with nothing to bail it out with and more falling from the clouds anyways, there wasn't much point in trying to get rid of it. He pushed the canoe up against the tree this time, wedging it between the trunk and his own body and made another attempt to climb into the boat, collapsing into a heap on the hard wood surface as he managed to do it without flipping the boat this time. He raised himself up on weak arms, dragging himself to the front of the canoe where he laid down on his back. He draped one of the soggy blankets over his shivering body before settling back against the hull and closing his eyes as the water continued to run down his face in continuous streams. He tightened his grip a bit more around the edge of the blanket and took a deep sigh. All that was left now was to wait and hope.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Two sensations, only two, were continuously pulsing through his body: coldness, and wetness. The combination was like an ice pick grating along his nerves every time his body decided to descend into another round of shivering.

Rodney had drawn his legs up against his chest and wrapped his arms around that to minimize his exposure to the elements. It had perhaps slowed the speed with which the world was becoming fuzzier. His extremities were little more than lumps of ice at this point. If they were coming they better make it quick.

All of a sudden there was a gust of wind followed closely by a thud at the other end of the boat that caught his attention. That end of the boat dipped a little lower in the water than it would've normally with the movements of the waves. "What the…" He forced his limbs to cooperate as he sat halfway up.

A burst of energy spurred more rapid movements as something moved on the other end of the boat. His muscles tensed, and he reached for the gun that usually hung from his belt at Sheppard's prodding…only to realize he'd left it in the jumper. He hadn't anticipated even getting out of the jumper, and when he had, he hadn't thought to bring it with him. It was supposed to be a quick run to the beach and back, not anything like the seemingly endless stay it had become.

He leaned forward a bit clumsily with his sluggish limbs doing little to steady him as something green scuttled across the deck toward him. Fish? Sea monster? Mutant bird of some sort? Atlantis and its creepy variety of wildlife had given his imagination plenty of material to work with.

He moved a bit closer, cautiously, the form had stopped moving. He raised an eyebrow. "Well you fail on the fright scale," he said as he examined the iguana-looking animal. It was about a foot and a half long and looking up at him. It looked harmless enough. He quickly snapped a hand down and wrapped it around its neck. The lizard's demeanor flipped into an aggressive state as it began scratching at him with all four legs and wrenching its neck back and forth, trying to wriggle out of McKay's grasp.

Rodney brought up his other hand to stabilize his grip, leaning out over the side of the boat and throwing it out into the water, watching it swim with just its head above the waves. Good riddance. He winced as he ran a hand along his arm. There were several red marks from where the iguana had gotten a good claw mark in, but nothing had broken skin. He rubbed at them softly as he settled back into his previously adopted position at the front of the boat and closed his eyes with a deep sigh.

He cracked one eye as another abnormal jerk interrupted the normal rocking motion of the boat. The iguana had hopped up and was sitting on the edge of the canoe, all four feet wrapped around the edge as it squatted there watching McKay warily.

"For god's sake, this is NOT an ark. Go away, shoo!" He waved his hand at the animal, hoping it would take the message to heart. He went to grab it again but the lizard flared out a set of red neck frills causing McKay to pause, startled.

"Well isn't that cute…I'm sure you're a hit with the ladies. Or maybe great at intimidating others of your kind. Might work a little better on me if I wasn't about ten times your size, but maybe that doesn't cross over into lizard comprehension. Points for effort, though," he said as he lowered a hand in to grab the creature again. This time it moved faster, snapping its head out at McKay and catching the space between Rodney's thumb and his other fingers in his mouth.

"Ouch!" Rodney drew his hand back, shaking it back and forth to try to get rid of the sting. The lizard cocked its head and hissed at him, whipping its tail back and forth, gently smacking it against the wooden shell of the boat.

"Look, this is my boat! Go find your own. I am not in the mood to share with the local wildlife."

The two stared at each other for a few beats. He sighed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to let it stay. It wasn't like there was anyone out here to keep him company. What harm could a lizard do? It didn't seem to keen on being handled, but it didn't have teeth, he'd found that out when it had bit him. Probably a local herbivore of some sort, trying to make it through this mess just like he was. "Fine, stay if you feel so inclined. That end of the boat though, this here is my end."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	5. Cold Blooded Creatures

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 5 – Cold-blooded Creatures

For all his raincoat was doing anymore Rodney may as well have gone swimming in the ocean. God, it was cold. He ran a shaky hand over his face to wipe away the rivets of water that were running into his eyes. Pulling his hand away, he looked at his fingers. If you looked at his hands you would've thought this situation had aged him a good twenty years, his hands were a mass of wrinkled skin pruned by the water.

Thunder cracked overhead and the tree branches above creaked under the strain of the buffeting wind. Rodney pushed himself up a bit from where he had gradually slid down into a reclined position, the hours taking their toll. He pinched the edge of the boat's edge between his thumb and remaining fingers to stabilize against the pitching of the white capping waves. Whoever thought the rocking of a boat was a good way to be lulled into unconsciousness should give it a second consideration. If they still weren't convinced he'd gladly give them a run in this canoe on the open seas.

A large wave crashed against the hull of the boat and McKay let out a startled gasp as his whole body was thrown against the side of the boat and the ocean spray doused him with a few more buckets' worth of water. He snarled and spit the salty liquid from his mouth. Rodney maneuvered himself into a sitting position again, reluctantly moving his arms away from where he had previously wrapped them around his torso to minimize the loss of body heat. He instead grabbed the edge of the boat, this time with one hand on each side of the boat to prevent his body from being thrown about like a ragdoll. The wood was saturated and slimy beneath his palms, slick with far too much water exposure.

With a squint McKay looked out into the ocean, letting own a quiet disappointed sigh. All the land was gone. This boat was now the only refuge he had against the storm. A man adrift, abandoned. Abandoned by his _friends. _He'd wracked his mind for any explanation that could justify their leaving him here. The first few hours were spent making excuses: the wind was too strong and they had needed to retreat to the mainland or risk barreling into the ocean. Maybe equipment malfunctions had occurred and he hadn't been there to set the jumper straight, again necessitating their departure.

And as the hours had slipped past, as he had lost the feeling in his toes, the doubt began creeping into his mind. That dread had slithered up through his limbs to curl into a knot in his stomach. They'd decided that waiting for him wasn't worth the risk of staying out here and cut their losses to head back to Atlantis. Or maybe McKay's sharp tongue had offended his team one time too many and they'd purposely left him here. He'd already played that scenario out in his head, the team sipping hot chocolate back in the mess, laughing and joking with one another, completely ignoring the empty seat at their table where he'd normally be sitting.

Another shudder went through him and he winced. There were a million things that could've caused his team leaving him. They had _left _him. Forget all of the reasons that might have caused it, the result was the same no matter what hypothetical scenario he ran through: they had left him out here alone in a storm that was likely to kill him. If his boat didn't get flipped by the waves which had gradually grown in height over the last few hours, the cold would get him, he'd finally slip into unconsciousness and that'd be the end of one Rodney McKay.

McKay noticed that there was some sort of lump under his left leg. His brow dipped downward in contemplation as he shifted his leg over to see what was causing the disturbance. Moving it over, he saw a stationary green body. His mouth curved into a frown as he gently picked it up wondering if he would be following the same path toward his own demise. He set the iguana on his lap, running a light finger over the ridges along its spine. The animal's neck was twisted at a strange angle and its limbs rested motionless against Rodney's own thighs. The animal might have been hostile before, but it was at least another living thing to ride out the storm with. He really was alone now.

Rodney felt the lizard's chest gave a weak heave and he immediately stopped stroking it and brought it up closer to his face to examine it, squinting through the rain to do so. The chest was barely moving, but it wasn't dormant. The animal wasn't a corpse yet. He puzzled at it for a moment, watching the iguana hang limply in his grasp.

"Cold. It's cold," he muttered to himself in thought, "And you're a _cold-blooded_ reptile." That could explain why the feral animal, which had been so hostile earlier, had curled up against Rodney. McKay might not have much heat left, but it was more than this reptile had possessed. Out of desperation, it had ignored its desire to avoid Rodney and instead settled in against him to maintain body heat, even the tiny bit Rodney's chilled body could offer might just be enough to survive.

He sat up a bit straighter and unzipped the top half of his jacket, wincing as the cold wind stung his neck. He slid the iguana into the jacket on top of his flack vest, and zipped it back over the top, leaving just its head peaking out below his own chin. Maybe being inside his jacket might warm it back up. He wrapped his arms across his chest, hunkered down into the boat to escape the wind, and resumed his vigil.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Zelenka rushed back into his lab, his attention so focused on his data pad that he was abruptly brought to a halt as he collided with Sheppard. He rebounded off the colonel, one leg getting caught on the other as he fell backward and the data pad went flying from his grip. Disregarding preparing himself for an impact with the ground, he stretched both arms out in an attempt to snatch the data pad out of the air on its descent. Sheppard prevented the scientist from falling all the way by catching one of the man's arms and pulling him back up to his feet with a grunt. Zelenka brushed him off, his gaze locked onto his data pad as it skidded across the ground.

"You alright Zelenka?"

"I'm fine! Let go please. I need to retrieve my data pad," he said in an impatient tone.

Sheppard shrugged and let the man go. Zelenka was scooping his device off the ground a second later, holding it out as he tapped out several sequences on the screen.

The Colonel stepped in inquiry toward Zelenka who was half turned away, "It's ok, right? They make those things extra sturdy. At least I think they do, I mean, McKay's has survived several situations I thought would've ended one of those things."

Zelenka didn't meet his gaze or stop typing, "Give me a moment, Colonel. I was working on data that I need to make sure wasn't disrupted."

Sheppard nodded even though the scientist wasn't looking to see it. He contented himself for a few moments with looking around the lab. The lab was a lot busier than it normally was with almost every desk station occupied with one of McKay's blue shirts. Zelenka must have called in every available body to work on this one, or else they had simply wandered in on their own after hearing the news. One creative scientist that must've missed out on claiming one of the stations had adapted an equipment cart into temporary desk space. He sat perched on a stool hunched over his computer at the improvised work station.

The colonel sighed, "Zelenka, I know you told me not to come down here and bother you but it's been several hours. Do you have anything for me?"

Zelenka blinked once and looked up, his hand finally stilling its rapid movements across the data pad as he turned his attention to the conversation, "Yes, actually. I think I might have figured out how to get Rodney."

Sheppard immediately shed his relaxed posture, now all business, "You have? Why didn't you call me?"

"I wanted to be sure that this would work. And I was heading back to my station to retrieve my radio. If it wasn't you calling every five minutes to check in it was Elizabeth or Carson or any other of a number of people. I left it there so I could work without being disturbed."

"Ok, well I'm here. Come on, Zelenka. What've we got," Sheppard asked, taking another step forward.

Zelenka unconsciously took a step back in response, not comfortable with someone that close to him, especially considering the sheer tension the colonel was radiating. "We can't get the gate to dial back to that planet. I've had two teams working exclusively on that-"

"I thought you said you had a solution for this…all I'm hearing is that you still haven't gotten over the same roadblock."

Radek rolled his eyes, "I was about to get to that part before you interrupted me. I've been slogging through the database, working on that back-up plan you wanted. I've found one address for a planet that is within jumper-flying distance of the planet where Rodney is."

"Ok, this could work. Did you find any more information on it in the database?"

The scientist shrugged, "It's a desert planet, that's all I have for you."

Sheppard gave a terse nod, "I can work with this. I'll get my team up the gate room. Meet me up there in ten minutes to dial through." Without giving the scientist a chance to respond he was jogging off. Zelenka gave a slight shake of his head and a slight smirk as he saw the colonel tapping his radio and speaking in a fast, exciting voice. They'd find Rodney and bring him home. Sheppard was already organizing his team before he had even reached the hallway attached to the lab, he'd bring him home.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	6. That Cold Feeling

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 6 – That Cold Feeling

There was silence in the jumper as they proceeded toward the planet. It was a change from the initial excitement that initially had permeated the atmosphere inside the jumper. They'd headed through the gate to a desert landscape and Sheppard had immediately angled their flight trajectory upwards toward the vacuum of space.

He'd thrown a glance over his shoulder once or twice to see Teyla and Ronon looking out of the windows as the landscape shrunk below, giving way to the grey mist of clouds and eventually the blackness of space interspersed occasionally with small flecks of light in the distance, the light of stars reflected across vast distances. He couldn't help but smirk at Carson who kept his gaze purposefully pointed at the floor of the jumper like it was the most interesting thing around to ponder. That or he just didn't want to think about the fact that he was travelling in an alien space ship. The doc really did need to loosen up a bit and learn to really appreciate the small miracles and adventures they shared every day. A bit of enjoyment and amazement went a long way toward quelling the knot in his stomach over the absence of his friend.

But after that initial burst of excitement everything had fallen into an easy pace. He flew the jumper, Teyla appeared to be meditating. Ronon sat silently, watching Carson and the Colonel. Occasionally the big man sighed out of boredom or checked his gun for the sixth or seventh time. Beckett had occupied the first part of the trip by arranging his medical supplies in the order he thought they might be needed, and then he too had been resigned to the waiting game. His eyes were closed at the moment, arms crossed over his chest. Sheppard wasn't quite sure whether he was simply deep in thought or he might have genuinely drifted off. And so they had continued on for a time, a quiet and subdued mood within the walls of the jumper veiling what one otherwise would know to be an uneasy peace. The reason they were out there, to rescue a teammate; underneath the apparent calm this unspoken thought was on everyone's mind.

A few hours later it was eventually Sheppard who broke the silence, "Hey guys, we're about to break atmosphere. I'm not sure how smooth the ride is going to be with the storm and all. Might want to grab on to something."

There was a rustling of movement in the back. Ronon grunted in response to Sheppard's statement and checked his gun in his holster one more time. Teyla opened her eyes and stretched each stiff limb. When Beckett didn't respond Ronon gave him a soft bump in the ribs and murmured something too low for Sheppard to hear. But it apparently worked; Carson woke up and started moving around.

As for Sheppard himself, he kept his attention glued to the scene outside the jumper's windshield. Breaking atmosphere was the most risky part of any jumper flight and it required all of his attention. He stabilized his hands against the bumpy motions of the ship and its controls as they began their descent toward the planet's surface.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Sheppard divided his attention between the flight path ahead and the display screen telling him where to navigate toward the gate. Or where the gate would be if it weren't underwater. From what they'd seen so far outside the jumper's window, the monsoon showed no sign of abating anytime soon. If Sheppard had to guess, he would say that the only direction the water levels had gone were probably up.

And then a blip appeared on his screen, a life sign, a signal. "Guys! I have Rodney's sub-q transmitter. He's alive," he shouted back over his shoulder.

There were a few relieved sighs and Sheppard increased the speed of the jumper, causing his teammates to brace themselves against the sudden change in motion. They'd do this just fine. The next ten minutes were tense. Sheppard kept looking at the screen, almost worried that the sign might blip out, that Rodney would disappear at the moment they were preparing to get him back. But they closed the distance quickly and the colonel began decelerating the jumper until they came to a halt over the location where the gate should have stood, where Rodney should be.

Sheppard dropped the hatch on the back of the jumper, the torrential downpour immediately beginning to soak the interior of the jumper near the entrance. Carson was on his feet, shielding his face against the wind with one hand as he tried to watch look for any sign of his friend out in the monsoon.

Ronon didn't wait for the jumper to stop all the way; he jumped off the back platform and into the water with a grunt before anyone had a chance to protest. The water came up to his chest and he plodded toward the boat which was bobbing near the tree. With his knife, he slashed through the rope anchoring it to the trunk and began pulling it back toward the jumper. Teyla and Beckett positioned themselves at the entrance. They held the boat steady as Ronon hauled himself back up into the jumper, giving a shake or two to shed some of the water weight his clothes had taken on before bending down and pulling their scientist's limp form from the waterlogged canoe.

As he turned and set the man down gently on the blanket that Carson had already set out he heard the jumper door shutting behind him. After depositing Rodney on the floor of the jumper he backed off to the side to let the doctor in to evaluate the man.

"Teyla, lass, I've gone through a bit of hypothermia treatment with you when you wanted to learn about field medicine. Feel up to helping me out with Rodney here." he asked as he began assessing the man.

"Of course, doctor," she said as she moved up beside him, waiting for his instruction before jumping in to assist.

Carson handed her an IV to hang from the webbing that sat above the benches to hold most of their supplies. In the meantime he began by checking for any signs of trauma that McKay might have obtained during his time on the planet that could explain his unconsciousness. Not finding any, he began cutting through the raincoat starting at the neck. He paused as he saw something green between the slit he had begun to make in the rain coat. He reached a gloved hand and drew something out of the jacket," What the…"

Teyla and Ronon's expression mirrored his own. Beckett held the reptile up in the light. It appeared to be breathing although it wasn't moving much…he held it out to Ronon, "Can you do something with this Ronon?"

He raised an eyebrow at the strange request but took it out of the physician's hands, "What do you want me to do with it? A little late to throw him back," Ronon muttered as eyed the closed hatch door.

Beckett shrugged although he kept his gaze locked on his patient, He continued cutting off the rain jacket and then began stripping the tactical vest off, "Just put it in a corner or something. Let me worry about Rodney here for a spell."

Sheppard kept an ear cocked to the conversation, "What is it?"

"A lizard of some sort seems to have taken residence in Rodney's jacket."

"I could kill it I suppose," Ronon added, fingering his gun with his empty hand, "It's a pest, right?"

"Let's not be getting trigger happy. It looks harmless enough," Beckett threw back at him. He might not want to play veterinarian for the critter, but that didn't mean it needed to be exterminated. As for the Satedan, he sometimes had to just shake his head and wonder whether Ronon didn't consider it a successful mission unless he got to fire his weapon at least once.

Ronon gave a resigned grunt but deposited the lizard on the bench and returned to sit on the ground next to Teyla and Carson as they continued to work. They'd gotten him stripped down to his boxers and toweled off in a matter of moments. Beckett then pulled a set of rolled up sweats from his bag and shook them out before throwing the pants to Ronon, "Alright lad, don't just be sitting there. Help me get these on Rodney. We could use a little extra muscle. Dressing an unconscious Rodney is a bit like trying to dress a sack of potatoes. Not the most graceful process."

Ronon gripped a corner of the pants that had just been deposited in his lap and moved over to help, filling in a spot next to the scientist as Carson moved aside to make room for him. Between the three of them they soon had Rodney in the dry clothing and Beckett then proceeded to wrap him in several more blankets.

Beckett sat back on his heels to survey the man. He still hadn't stirred. The most immediate concern taken care of- getting McKay warm and dry- he could slow down and begin a more thorough set of diagnostics. First thing he did was put a thermometer in the scientist's ear and set Teyla to holding it until the reading was finished registering.

He paused for a moment to watch Ronon nod in approval before the big man withdrew to the other side of the jumper, still on the ground and near enough to jump in if his presence was needed again. Beckett made eye contact with him and gave him a slight appreciative nod as he drew his penlight from his medical pack. Ronon returned the nod and Beckett did have to marvel for a moment that for such a quiet man, he was entirely receptive. He knew the exact moment when his presence was hindering instead of helping and had withdrawn without a single comment. Beckett felt a slight swell of pride for a moment. Ronon considered Rodney a friend and a teammate, one of the few people he had made a connection with since coming to the city. The soldier was entirely protective of his friends and it spoke volumes that Ronon had moved away to leave the man in Beckett's care as quickly as he had.

There was a beep of a thermometer and Carson shook his head and turned his attention back to the man lying before him. He let out a quiet, disapproving noise as Teyla handed him the thermometer. Rodney's core temperature was entirely too low at ninety-five degrees. That was a solid bout of hypothermia.

He put the thermometer aside and pulled back an eyelid to check his friend's pupil reactions. The sudden burst of light seemed to animate the man; he let out a low hiss and turned his head to the side to move it out of the line of the flashlight's beam. "Rodney, you with us lad?"

Rodney vaguely heard a voice calling out to him, but it was far away, muffled somehow. Like he was floating and someone was disturbing the peace and quiet. Like the voice was coming through a layer of water. Water. At that thought he began struggling. The boat had flipped and he was finally drowning, hallucinating his friends' presence in his final moments.

He tried to flail his limbs, to force his way to the surface and get some desperately needed air. His lungs were burning. A panic gripped him as he realized something was preventing him from moving his limbs, water? That watery grave and its comforting coffin rocking him gently to rest at the bottom of an ocean on an alien world. He arched his back and pushed harder against the restrictive bonds, this wasn't the way it was going to end!

Beckett watched the sheer terror in his patient's eyes and tried to calm him down with soft words. But his voice cut out mid-sentence when he realized the lad wasn't breathing. "Damn it, Teyla lass. Fetch me the oxygen if you could?"

He began stripping the blankets to either side to reveal the man's torso. The minute he had done so, though, Rodney's arms shot up to start resisting, "Ronon, can you hold him? He's not breathing; I need to treat this now!"

"Beckett, what's going on? Is Rodney ok," Sheppard anxiously asked from the front. Carson let the question hang in the air, too busy at the moment to take the time to ease the Colonel's fears.

Beckett swore he didn't even see Ronon move; a moment later the Satedan was by the scientist's side and holding his arms firmly against the metal floor. Beckett folded his hand into a fist and brought it down on Rodney's sternum with all of his weight behind the blow. McKay let out a startled breath and began rapidly exhaling and inhaling as his lungs gasped for air, "There we go lad. That's better. Much better."

He put a gentle hand on Ronon's tight grip and motioned for him to let go. He did so, but didn't withdraw this time, content to crouch where he was in case he was needed again.

Beckett kept his eyes glued to the scientist, watching his chest rapidly rise and sink as he continued to breathe in and out deeply. All of a sudden the man's hands twitched and contracted into fists and his eyes darted around the jumper until they froze on Carson's gaze, "Carson," he wheezed.

"Aye lad. Gave us a fine fright there you did. You with us now?"

"I-I think…Where are we?"

"In a jumper headed back to Atlantis to get you looked after. How are you feeling?"

"Tired. C-cold," he added weakly as a series of shivers ran through his limbs.

Beckett immediately began re-bundling the man in the wool blankets he had hastily discarded in his effort to restore his patient's breathing. He paused to examine his work, only the scientist's head peaked out above the mass of blankets, "There, that should start to warm you up."

"I can't move…feel like I'm in a cocoon."

"Aye, at least it's a warm one. Anything else bothering you lad?" the Scottish physician added a bit apprehensively.

The scientist shook his head back and forth before letting it drop back against the ground. He saw the man's eyelids start to sink as he lost the battle against his body's desire to sleep. Carson sighed. Really, the scientist should be kept awake, but he hadn't thought to bring the stimulants that would do the job. He'd just have to keep a very close watch on him for any signs of shock.

"Beckett! Is Rodney ok?" Sheppard shouted back again.

"Aye, he'll be ok once we get him back to Atlantis."

There was a relieved exhalation from the colonel, "Can you come up and take the controls so I can see for myself? I promise it pretty much flies itself, we just need someone with the gene in the command seat."

"Sorry John, I need to stay back here and keep an eye on Rodney."

"Come on Carson! Two minutes. He can't go south that fast….Please, I haven't seen him since I lost him on my watch," he finished with a tinge of guilt in his voice.

Beckett motioned for Ronon to move aside and he himself backed off a few steps to the side, "Then go ahead and look," he spoke to Sheppard.

Sheppard kept his hands on the controls but turned as far as he could without abandoning them. He craned his neck the rest of the way to be able to see. He inhaled sharply and shook his head, "He looks terrible."

"Aye, but he's alive and was up and talking for a minute there."

"Please, can I just sit with him for a minute?"

Beckett bit his lip but spoke firmly, "Colonel, you do the piloting, let me do the doctoring. You can visit him when we get back to the city and I get him settled."

John opened his mouth for a rebuttal but thought better of it and turned back to the navigation console. They were still a good few hours out from the city. He didn't want to wait that long, but he supposed he could do it. Rodney was a few feet away instead of the vast distance that had hung between them during this debacle. "Fine. Watch over him Carson," he added softly.

Beckett didn't give a verbal response but he nodded again as he settled the oxygen mask over Rodney's nose and mouth. He'd give the man no less than his best.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	7. You'll be Ok

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 7 – You'll be Ok

The jumper settled onto the ground in the gate room and Sheppard dropped the back hatch. A waiting medical team rushed in through the open passage with a gurney. Carson was giving orders to have Rodney transferred to the rolling gurney and a moment later the group of medics was crowding on either side of the gurney as they headed off down the hallway toward the infirmary.

Sheppard craned his neck from his chair, watching the procession retreat as he sighed deeply. He threw a look at each Teyla and Ronon and rewarded them with a slight nod, "Good job guys. We got him back, that's what matters."

Ronon gave a grunt in affirmation and Teyla spoke, "When do you think Dr. Beckett will allow Rodney to take visitors?"

As Sheppard was closing the hatch he chewed on his lip for a minute in thought, "Carson? Probably awhile. He'll want to make sure Rodney's ok before he lets us in."

Teyla frowned in response, "Was his condition not improving on our trip back to Atlantis?"

Sheppard shrugged and then turned forward again as he raised the jumper off the floor and moved it through the hatch to the jumper bay to park it. Keeping his attention forward as he flew the ship he talked over his shoulder, "Carson said his temperature was still low. Getting that up is his first priority."

Ronon decided to chime in then too, "He'll be ok though, right? We got him back here for Beckett to do his stuff."

"He'll be fine, I'm sure. Beckett'll take care of him. I'm gonna go stake out a spot in the infirmary and wait if you guys want to come with," the Colonel said as he turned the jumper off and climbed to his feet, stabilizing himself against the jumper's equivalent of a dashboard as he did so.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Two hours later a haggard looking Beckett walked up to the trio of Rodney's teammates to deliver a status report. Sheppard was trying to teach Teyla to play a game of cards, 'Go Fish' by the looks of it. Carson cleared his throat as he approached, the game stopped and Sheppard and Teyla immediately turned their attention to him. Sheppard put a light elbow jab into Ronon's ribs, causing the man to grumble a few times but he peaked an eye open and moved to sit up a bit straighter from where he had been drowsing.

"How is he?" Sheppard spoke first.

Carson sighed, "We're havin' a wee bit of trouble getting his temperature up. Colonel, that's actually why I came out, I was hoping you could come back at me. Maybe talk Rodney down. He's a bit more alert and none too happy about the state of things."

Sheppard's brow scrunched in confusion but he handed the cards over to Ronon and rose to his feet, "Oh. Of course. Is he ok?"

Beckett nodded, "We're moving him in the right direction. Hypothermia's a pesky business sometimes."

Carson saw that Teyla and Ronon were still watching him intently, perhaps expecting more of an explanation. "We're just working on getting him warmed up. The lad'll be fine as soon as we can get that much done. I'll come get the two of you as soon as we accomplish that."

That explanation seemed to be enough, Ronon nodded and looked at the cards in his hand, "So, you going to show me how this game's played?"

As she began motioning to some of the cards that were laid out on the table, pairs she had won from Sheppard, Beckett and Sheppard withdrew.

Sheppard kept up with Carson's brisk pace, "What's wrong with him?"

Beckett didn't speak for a moment. He kept his gaze turned ahead as he led the way back into one of the isolation rooms, closing the door firmly behind them. Sheppard took in the scene before him. There was a pair of burly orderlies standing off to the side, chatting amongst themselves. Rodney was lying on the bed stripped to his boxers, eyes closed. Beyond a lone IV attached to the back of one hand, all of Beckett's usual monitors were absent. Next to the gurney there was a large basin filled with water. He turned his head to Beckett next to him and whispered softly, "Carson, what's going on?"

The doctor moved up next to the bed and tapped McKay on the cheek. His patient slightly stirred but didn't snap like Rodney would have if he had been totally cognizant. Beckett frowned and pulled a vial of medication out of one of his coat pockets, taking a hypodermic from his nurse's outstretched hand. He filled it halfway and then administered it to Rodney's IV port. McKay let out a small pained wince and arched his back a bit as his hands clenched into fists. Carson laid a hand on the man's shoulder, "Easy lad. I know it stings a wee bit. You can't be falling asleep yet, Rodney."

"What did you just give him?" Sheppard asked.

"A stimulant."

John cocked his head a bit, stepping forward and resting a hand on the railing of the gurney "Aren't you always clamoring that Rodney needs to sleep more, the whole, 'there's nothing better than natural sleep' routine you like to give us?"

"Aye, normally, that'd be the case. Rodney's suffering a bit of exhaustion. He cannot sleep until we get his temperature all the way back up to normal. He's at risk of going into shock otherwise."

"Is it hurting him," Sheppard asked, failing to hide his concern at the reaction he'd just seen from Rodney.

"The medication stings a bit, but we need to keep him awake," he said as he stuck a thermometer into Rodney's ear. McKay raised a lip into a partial snarl as he tried to shake his head but Beckett didn't retreat, holding the implement steady, "That'll be enough of that, Rodney. Cooperate for me lad."

"Is that why you brought me back, to help keep him awake?"

Beckett shook his head, "We need to get him into the tub here. We've gotten the water as hot as Rodney will be able to stand. His temperature has hardly gone up at all."

John raised an eyebrow as he threw a glance at the orderlies standing in the corner, "You look like you have enough muscle to get that accomplished. Rodney hasn't binged on power bars often enough to put on enough weight to make that difficult."

The thermometer beeped and Carson read the reported value and shook his head, "We're at ninety-seven degrees, that's no good. Alright, let's go," he said, snapping his fingers at the orderlies.

The two responded to the motion, moving up to either side of the bed. Sheppard saw that one had a ring of bruising starting in around one eye.

Beckett spoke again, "We've tried twice. Last time he managed to get in a good knock on Persley here," he said, nodding at the one with the black eye.

Sheppard bit the inside of his cheeks to keep from letting a smirk creep across his face. It didn't surprise him that even incapacitated Rodney could cause a ruckus. As soon as one of the orderlies put a hand on Rodney's arm the man went rigid and twisted away to the other side of the bed, "No!"

Carson sighed, "Colonel, can you talk to him? I can't give him anything to calm him down; I just administered a stimulant, which will do the opposite in fact. I don't like the idea of forcing this on the lad but we can't wait any longer. His temperature has actually dropped a tenth of a degree and that's not the direction we need right now."

Sheppard nodded. The two orderlies backed off to give him a bit of room. John stepped up to the bed and laid a hand on Rodney's shoulder to turn him around so they were speaking face to face. His friend went rigid again and tried to shake it off but Sheppard tightened his grip and spoke, "Rodney, it's me, Sheppard. Wanna tell me what's going on here bud? Why aren't you letting Carson help you?"

The muscles in Rodney's shoulder slackened a bit and his tense posture slumped. The resistance gone, Sheppard rolled the man back over onto his back so that they were chatting while meeting each others' eyes. "Rodney?"

John frowned at the slight tremors he could feel running through Rodney's body. God, he was still really cold if he was shivering this far after the fact, "Rodney? I'm trying here but the doc's saying we can't wait. He wants to get you warmed up."

The scientist gave a soft sigh, "N-no. No more water, John." He wrapped his arms around his torso. Being out in the open air without any blanket or anything probably wasn't helping. It seemed Carson hadn't counted on Rodney being this resistant to treatment. The blanket, the monitors, all the normal things Beckett would've used if it were just Rodney resting in bed; they couldn't follow him into a tub of water.

Beckett had taken a step forward and opened his mouth to ask for elaboration, to understand why Rodney was being so combative. Sheppard threw the doctor a quick glance, shaking his head and holding a hand up for silence. He had just gotten Rodney talking, the last thing he wanted to do was to have him clam up again at the prospect of having to fend two of them off. He didn't want this to turn into an argument, that would be the surest thing to get Rodney to stop talking.

"No more water?"

"It was a flood out there…water e-everywhere. No…please," Rodney asked softly.

Sheppard grimaced. Rodney never said please. And that made this all the more difficult. He looked over at Beckett; the man's face was dipped into a frown. He got it now. Sheppard was wearing a similar expression, "Carson, is there any other option?" He didn't finish the thought, Rodney had a right not to want this…they'd just gotten a taste for what he'd been in for out there. He'd had hours and hours of rain and ocean and water in every direction without even knowing if they were coming back for him. Who would want to put a friend through something that was going to dredge up those memories? It would be like rubbing salt into an open wound.

Carson rubbed the back of his head and his shoulders dropped a bit, "No, Colonel. This is the fastest way. We need to do this, and soon. Rodney's looking pale."

John sighed and turned back to the scientist who had his eyes open a bit more than before, his gaze was locked on Sheppard's, "Rodney, Carson's saying you need this. You're too cold."

"Just…give me a f-few blankets and turn up the heat," Rodney pleaded, "I'm…not that cold," he tried to claim even as Sheppard could see the goose bumps freckling his exposed flesh.

Sheppard started to explain this again, "McKay-"

An impatient Beckett cut him off though as he stepped up to the other side of the bed, "Rodney, lad. We've tried the heat and warming blankets, it's not working. We need to try this now."

Rodney closed his eyes and shook his head, Beckett sighed.

Sheppard filled in the silence, "Rodney, I know it was scary out there, and very, very wet. We've gotten you back now and Beckett's just trying to get you back to normal. Let the doc do his stuff. Will you let him if I stay here?"

Rodney flicked his gaze between Sheppard and Carson but didn't say no outright. It was a sign that he was at least considering it. He addressed Beckett this time, "You won't send him away?"

"Of course he can stay, lad. Can we work on getting you warm now, Rodney?"

Rodney just barely dipped his chin; you had to be watching close to catch the nod. Beckett immediately slid right back into his doctoring demeanor, bringing his orderlies in from either side to help move his patient. One lifted from either side, Beckett busied himself stabilizing the IV so that it wasn't jostled when they moved him over.

While the three medical personnel were focusing on physically transferring Rodney, John kept his eyes glued to Rodney's face, watching his reaction. The man looked down at the water once, a sense of apprehension bleeding through his carefully neutral expression. The scientist's breath hitched and he turned his eyes away to the ceiling as his feet were first lowered into the water followed quickly but the rest of him. As he was lowered in up to his chest Rodney shot out one hand and clamped it around the edge of the steel tub in a vice grip, halting his body from sinking any further into the water.

"Rodney, lad, just a bit more. We want to get you all the way in."

Sheppard took two large strides and was immediately edging his way past one of the orderlies to crouch next to the tub.

Rodney was breathing very rapidly, his eyes shooting around the room until they locked onto John's face, "I'm…not going under. No. I thought I was going to end like that on that planet, me at the bottom of the ocean."

John nodded an understanding but began gently loosening Rodney's grip on the edge of the tub, "We came for you McKay. You're ok now. Look," he said, motioning to the tub.

Rodney reluctantly followed Sheppard's gaze down to the water. John dipped a hand into the tub, "It's not that deep. You won't go under. Just up to your neck. It's just going to warm you up."

McKay took a gulp but nodded and lowered himself all the way into the basin, the water lapping against his skin an inch or so below his chin. "Ok," he said quietly.

Beckett gave something akin to an approving cluck. He checked the IV one last time and submerged part of a finger in the water to test the temperature. Apparently satisfied, he met Sheppard's gaze once and whispered a soft thank you before withdrawing with his two orderlies to give the pair some privacy.

The door clicked shut behind them and Sheppard turned back to Rodney. Rodney had relinquished his grip on the edge of the tub but had locked his hand around Sheppard's instead. John didn't move to pull it away, content to let it get a little wet if it would calm his panicky friend. "You're ok, McKay?"

"It's wet…but it's warm," he said, offering no further explanation.

John answered in a tone that left no room for argument or doubt, "You'll be ok, McKay."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	8. Bust This Joint

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 8 – Bust this Joint

Carson cracked the door open the next morning. They'd removed Rodney from the water a few hours after putting him in. They had gotten him dried off and into a dry set of clothes, and then settled him back into bed. Rodney had been close to catatonic by then. Beckett had stressed the importance of keeping McKay awake until he was past the worst of the hypothermia. As soon as they had reached that point, the man had passed out before Beckett had even gotten him under one of their thicker blankets he kept in the infirmary.

He lightened his footsteps against the ground automatically as he passed through the doorway and into the room, padding over next to the bed. The monitor readouts looked normal and Beckett nodded in approval. For once Rodney might have presented with a simple case of hypothermia. Scary as hell when they first brought him, but his temperature had been stable all night. They had replenished his hydration levels with the IV, and assuming that Rodney would eat a hearty meal this morning, he would be well along the road to making a full recovery.

Carson turned his attention from Rodney to Sheppard who had fallen asleep dosing in the chair next to the bed. He smiled and gently tapped the man on the shoulder, "Colonel, you awake?"

The man didn't snap awake like he sometimes did, a reflex honed from years in the field as a soldier. Instead, he arched his back with a groan and sat up, blinking his eyes open a few times and looking around for the cause of the disturbance. His gaze became more focused as he looked up at Carson, "Yeah, I am now. What's up," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Just thought I'd check in with you. Rodney's looking much better this morning. And I wanted to thank you for your help with him last night."

Sheppard nodded, "He was scared. You just have to know how to talk him down."

"Aye, I'm normally ok with that...but for some reason Rodney wasn't responsive last night," he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice. He wasn't used to having to ask for help with providing adequate medical care for one of his patients.

Still speaking in a gravelly tone, Sheppard responded, "Rodney, he's a special case. His mind just gets going so fast, convincing himself that the worst that could happen will happen. Throw that into the mix with exhaustion…it does strange things with the mind."

Carson frowned, "You lose your voice lad? Your speech is a bit rough this morning."

Sheppard gave an affirming nod, "Rodney wasn't going to stay awake to just to stare at the wall last night, I had to give him some incentive. I ended up telling him stories about anything and everything last night. It was a very one-sided conversation, but he listened and it kept him conscious."

"Aye, you did well with him last night. Your throat raw enough to be bothering you?"

"Doc, it's fine. Just focus on Rodney. I've had worse."

"I'd not doubt it. I've had you in here enough to know that. But just because you've had worse doesn't mean that you need to be suffering. I'll have a nurse bring something by for you later."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

A few hours later found Rodney awake and watching the Scottish physician flitting around his bed, "Carson, stop running in circles around me. You're making me dizzy. Just come sit down and tell me that I'm not going to die."

Carson emitted a hearty chuckle and he plopped down in the chair next to the bed that had been vacated by Sheppard. Beckett had forced him to leave to go take a shower and grab some food before coming back. "Aye, you'll not being dying on my watch. Everything looks much better today."

"Good. Glad to see that your doctoring skills haven't gotten rusty in my absence," he muttered in his normal caustic manner, "I am the only one around here who gives you regular work. I really should stake out a permanent spot in here, maybe a bed by the nurses' station. You always did love to surround yourself with beautiful women. Hell, you'd probably be out of a job without me around."

"Rodney, you were only gone a day or so. I doubt my years of training would be eroded significantly in that short a time period."

"It felt a lot longer," he said, a bit more quietly this time.

Beckett sat forward in the chair, "You're back now, Rodney and doing well."

Rodney's moment ended and his mask snapped back into place, "Well enough for you to give me a computer? I lost mine on that planet and I want to get some equations transferred over before I forget them."

"Aye, because you are likely to forget anything with that memory of yours. And you know the answer to that question already."

Rodney shook his head, "I know, I know. No computers in the infirmary. Can't blame a man for trying, can you," he asked, looking up at Carson.

"I'd be more worried that something was wrong if you didn't try."

The conversation was cut short as the door opened and the colonel walked in, leaning against the door after he'd closed it.

"Ready to bust this joint, McKay?"

Rodney's brow scrunched in confusion and he looked at the doctor expectantly, "What is he talking about?"

Beckett stood back up and cracked his back, "You're doing extremely well. I'm willing to release you today if you agree to take it easy. You don't seem to be at risk for hypothermia anymore."

"Really?" He asked in disbelief. Carson _never_ released him this early.

"Aye, but that means no lab work until tomorrow at the earliest. And you aren't to be out and about without the Colonel or someone else. I want someone nearby in case you start feeling worse for any reason."

Rodney nodded in agreement, "Ok. I can agree to that." He wasn't thrilled on having a human shadow, but he wanted to get out of here more. He'd put up with it if it meant he could get back into the city. He also couldn't help thinking that if he was kept here, Sheppard might eventually get tired of sitting around. No, he hadn't been left alone for one second yet, and between Beckett's staff and John, he'd been accompanied all the time, but the fact was comforting and he hadn't tired of the sensation yet. He'd been alone for so long, out there in the ocean, that just the sense of peace that came with having another human being in close physical proximity had a calming effect. He'd never admit the fact, but he didn't know if he was ready to be alone again. He'd be willing to play the shadow, even, trail Sheppard around for the day, if it meant that he didn't have to go back to the suffocating sense of apprehension that came with being alone.

"Alright then, let's get that IV out," Beckett added reaching for the hand that attached to the IV.

Sheppard pulled a bundle from behind his back and threw it onto Rodney's lap with a precise throw that suggested practice, "Here, figured you didn't want to go waltzing about the city in a pair of Beckett's scrubs, as fashionable as they are. I grabbed a spare uniform from your room."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Sheppard slowed his pace as he waited for McKay to catch up. Although his sarcasm was operating full tilt, the scientist had been very cooperative for the most part. Rodney had tried to make a quick stop in his lab right after they left the infirmary, but after Sheppard put that idea to rest he hadn't made a fuss of it.

"How are you doing McKay," he asked as Rodney fell into step next to him and they made their way along the hallway.

"Fine. Just like ten minutes ago when you last asked."

"You sure? Because you normally aren't interested in my errands."

Rodney rolled his eyes, "What's not to love about guns and explosives," he answered in response, referring to the stop they'd just made at the armory. Sheppard had wanted to check on the latest weapons shipment that the Daedelus had dropped off.

Sheppard shrugged, "For you? Everything. You're always saying that they distract me from the more important things, like the gadgets brought back by different teams on off world trips that you find so fascinating."

"It's fine. I know you have stuff to do other than babysitting me. I, on the other hand, suddenly have a clear schedule. I'm not allowed in the lab, and apparently I'm also not allowed to be in radio contact with Zelenka."

Sheppard held up his hands in a defensive posture as they halted outside the transporter, "Hey, not my fault. Carson made a _list. _You know he means business when he writes down directions for me. There are lots of things I'm not supposed to let you do."

McKay scowled, "He made a _list? _I'm not a child that needs to be watched and slapped on the wrist every time I disobey an order."

"Yeah, he seemed pretty convinced that I might not be the best companion for you…he was going to put Ronon on this detail. It took a lot of convincing and a lot of promising to change his mind. Ok, and maybe I let Ronon join another team for the day. He was itching for something to do. Some grain trading mission, nothing too exciting, but he was grateful for the break in the monotony."

"I want to see this list. What else has Carson put out of bounds?"

Sheppard smiled and pulled the crinkled piece of paper out of his vest pocket. The first item on the list, scribbled in Beckett's messy hand, was in all caps and underlined three times proclaiming no lab work was to be permitted. Beckett had been able to come up with a pretty good laundry list of all the things Rodney wasn't allowed to do. "How 'bout I just tell you when getting close to violating one of Carson's rules? He's just trying to look out for you; we don't need to ride him too hard about it."

"Oh come on, I'd rather know everything I'm not allowed to do right off the bat so I can focus on finding things that I _can _find to entertain myself."

"That's what I'm worried about. You searching for loopholes. Look, if something happens, it's my butt on the line here. And I mean that in the literal sense of the word. Carson's promised some none-too-kind vaccinations in an unpleasant location if I don't keep you out of trouble."

While Sheppard had been speaking McKay had crossed the distance between them and snatched the paper from the colonel's hands, turning his back to defend against Sheppard trying to grab it back. He stepped into the transporter with the colonel on his heels. "I'm not allowed to fly a jumper? Why does he even think that I would want to do that in my spare time?"

"Eh, that might have been my fault…just a bit. There was the one time we went out together when I still apparently had the residual effects of a sedative in my bloodstream? I think that went against the 'don't operate heavy machinery when high' rule."

"You were bored and I took pity on you. No one got hurt!"

"We crash landed on the pier because I was too dizzy to fly and your flying skills leave much to be desired," Sheppard answered as he keyed in a destination on the transporter's control panel.

"We were both fine," McKay retorted as he took another step into the transporter to avoid getting hit by the doors as they closed.

"We almost caused Carson a heart attack. He's just covering his bases. Maybe making sure I don't return the favor?"

"Yeah, some favor that would be. Us following that suicidal streak of yours," he barked a bit gruffly. They didn't _always _get in trouble when you put the two of them together. "Fine, that one may have a bit of basis. But I'd like to see you explain this one, 'No-'"

Sheppard immediately turned to face Mckay as his voice cut out. He spun fast enough to see the paper drop from McKay's hand and twirl like a pair of helicopter blades to the ground. Rodney crossed his arms in front of him and let out a shuttering breath. "Rodney, you ok?"

"Just a small chill. It's c-cold in here," he said through chattering teeth.

Sheppard looked down at his own arms; he'd just rolled up his sleeves because he was uncomfortably hot. "It's a normal temperature in here, Rodney."

Rodney's head had dropped to his chest and his spine bent as he hunched over to try to keep himself warm, "For your information, Sheppard, people can be comfortable at different temperatures. We weren't all raised in frigid climates."

Sheppard stepped forward to help the man straighten up and prevent him from falling forward, he was looking a bit precarious on his feet, "McKay, you are used to cold temperatures. You're from Canada and spent how many years at the Antarctic base?"

"And maybe I've gotten used to the tropical conditions we get here, think of that Colonel," he snapped back harshly and tried to shake Sheppard off without success.

"We're going back to see Beckett. He said if you were feeling off to come right back, this qualifies," Sheppard said in a serious tone. He rekeyed a command for the transporter to deliver them near the infirmary.

Rodney stopped trying to fend off the grip but that didn't restrain the anger in of his voice, "If you want to ditch me and have better stuff to do, fine, drop me off in my room. Don't make up excuses to try to get rid of me."

Sheppard didn't rise to the bait, carefully leveling his voice, "You're not ok and we're going back. Not because I don't want to spend time with you, I'll stay. But something's off and Carson needs to know. End of discussion." The transporter opened and John began walking McKay down to see Beckett about this latest development.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	9. It's Complicated

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 9 – It's Complicated

Rodney was sitting in the isolation room again. He was alone at the moment, Sheppard had left to go find Beckett and drag him in here to take a look at him. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed; he wasn't too keen on going back to lying around fulltime. There were so many better uses of his time than occupying a bed.

He turned his head toward the door as it opened and Sheppard came in, closely followed by Beckett. "Carson," he acknowledged, nodding his head.

"Rodney, Sheppard's telling me you got a bit chilled when you were out in the city. This so?"

"It's not a big deal; Sheppard was playing it way too cautious. Although we need to consider that you gave him a list of all the things we weren't allowed to do and promised bodily harm if anything happened to me when I was out of your clutches," he said a bit angrily. The micromanaging they were pulling here was ridiculous and he wasn't going to pretend like it wasn't bothering him.

Beckett walked over to him leaving Sheppard to stand in front of the closed door, "Aye, and with good reason it seems," he said, nodding to the blanket covering Rodney's legs.

McKay looked down at it, scrunching one corner of it in a closed fist; it'd just been sitting on the bed, going unused. And he was maybe a little cold. It wasn't his fault that the rest of the expedition members liked colder temperatures.

"Carson, I spent a good portion of a day out in a monsoon. You would think that would grant me enough leeway to feel a bit cold after that."

Beckett stood at the foot of the bed and motioned for McKay to hop up on the edge. McKay shook his head but complied. As he threw the blanket back on the bed and climbed up Beckett flipped through the latest entries in Rodney's chart that summarized all of the readouts from the various monitors he'd been attached to overnight. "Everything looked normal when I released you. You shouldn't be suffering a delayed reaction like this," he said as he set the data pad on the nearest counter. He then pulled a thermometer out of the case he had slid into his pocket when Sheppard had come to find him.

He stuck the thermometer's tip in McKay's ear but the man jerked his head, "Hey! What happened to the 'under the tongue' version? Getting foreign objects shoved in my ear wasn't on the list of things I wanted to do."

"Aye, and getting verbally abused by a scientist wasn't on my list either. Seems we both sore out of luck today," Beckett said in a joking tone as he laid his other hand on Rodney's head to stabilize it so he could get a proper reading. "And I use the ear thermometer with you because I've tried it enough times to know you can't keep your mouth shut that long."

"Hey!"

The thermometer shifted a bit as a round of laugher shook the physician's body, "See what I mean? Now Rodney, how about you tell me how you've been feeling?"

The scientist tapped his fingers in his lap, "The rest of the city is colder than in here. In here is nice. But I can't stay cooped up in here forever. I guess I'll just need to get reacclimated to the environment in the rest of the city."

The thermometer beeped and McKay shook his head a few times as Beckett withdrew it and looked at the number, frowning slightly, "You're temperature is down a wee bit."

McKay groaned, being kept in here for longer was the last thing we wanted right now, "How bad is it?"

"Ninety-eight even. Not bad enough for me to be worrying too much on its own, but the fact remains it shouldn't be happening at all."

McKay shot Beckett a puzzling expression, "What do you mean it shouldn't be happening?"

"We don't normally see a relapse into hypothermia once a patient has been removed from the environmental conditions that brought it on. You're back in the city, out of the rain and the cold, so it's strange that this is happening."

"Ok…so what does it mean if I am having an irregular relapse," Mckay asked with a tingle of irritation at the lack of a clear explanation.

"Could be a psychological component to it. I've seen it before. The mind's capable of doing a lot, including sometimes convincing the body that it should react in a way it really shouldn't. For example, a relapse of hypothermia."

"Great, so you're basically telling me I'm nuts. Is that it," McKay snapped back.

"Easy Rodney. I'm not implying that at all. Have you been thinking about the…experience a lot recently?"

Rodney leveled him with an impatient stare, "Carson, if you were left out on a planet by yourself for several hours to think that you would die, would you shake it from your mind like last week's dirty laundry?"

"I know it was a difficult situation-"

"No, difficult is not an adequate description for what I went through. How about impossible," he added with pure venom in his voice as he went on the defensive.

Beckett looked over to meet Sheppard's gaze but the man was looking at the ground guiltily. As if this was his fault. Beckett made a mental note to have another conversation with the Colonel about beating himself up for something that was beyond his control. It wouldn't do anyone good.

Carson took a deep breath and turned back toward his patient, "Rodney, calm down. I am not belittling what happened. I'm trying to say that it's understandable to be thinking about it a lot right now, and even for awhile into the coming days. And it could explain what's happening with the hypothermia. If it is, that's better than some complication. If that's all it is I'll take that as a good thing."

"Fine. If that's the explanation you want to run with and it'll get me out of here faster then we'll go with that," he finished, leveling out his voice at the end of his statement as he calmed down some. McKay stuck a finger in his ear to scratch the itch that had taken root there, "So where do we go from here?"

Beckett picked the data pad back up to put a note of it in Rodney's chart with the latest temperature reading, "You stay here for a bit longer, we'll get your temp back up again and evaluate what to do then."

"So I'm stuck here?"

"Aye, it seems to be the case. I'll have a nurse bring in a new set of scrubs and I'll be back in to run a few tests later on. Did you get a chance to hit the mess?"

"We were on our way there when Sheppard decided we needed to come back down here."

"Then I'll send for a meal as well. Any preferences?"

"Something solid would be nice, some real food, none of the vegetable stuff you like to put on my plate," he said, scrunching his face up a bit at the thought. Some things that Carson tried to feed him…

"Alright. I'll have them bring it up," Beckett said as he moved toward the door, Sheppard moving out of the way as he opened the door.

As Sheppard put a foot into the hallway McKay reacted, "You're leaving," he asked, perhaps a bit more panicked than he had intended for it to be.

"I figured you'd want to rest for awhile," the Colonel responded as he paused and looked back.

McKay was fiddling with the edge of the blanket, "Oh…I guess. You can go if you want. I'll be ok," he said unconvincingly.

Sheppard walked back into the room, "I'll stay."

"Really, you can go, I'm just going to be sitting here. No need for two of us to suffer the boredom," he said, trying to deflect his moment of weakness and end the awkward moment as rapidly as possible.

John slumped down in the chair next to the bed and perched his feet on the railing of the bed, "Eh, last I heard Elizabeth was looking for me. Something about some mission reports she wanted more details on. And we know how much I love paperwork," he finished with a smirk. It wasn't a total lie; Elizabeth had sent him an e-mail about it the other day. And hey, if it eased Rodney's embarrassment at his sudden panicked outburst at the thought of being left alone again, it was worth it.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	10. Of Things Lost

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 10 – Of Things Lost

Rodney straightened up from where he had been hunched over his computer and craned his neck backwards as he looked at the ceiling and yawned. He cracked his knuckles and groped a hand around his desk until it settled around his coffee thermos. Raising it to his mouth to take a few gulps, he frowned when nothing came out. Mckay put it back down on the desk and popped the lid off to examine the contents of the metal container, finding a few remnant coffee grounds in the bottom, but none of the actual coffee he had been looking for.

He grumbled something under his breath and popped the lid back in place before standing up and checking his watch. It was about ten at night. Most of the occupants of the city would be heading back to their rooms if they weren't there already. Some would be meeting in common spaces to socialize, gossip, maybe spar if you were Sheppard or Ronon. As for him, he found this one of the most peaceful times to work, he thought as he walked through the silent lab. The day was devoted to keeping the order in the lab, the administrative side of this job took a lot longer than anyone realized. It ranged from putting together briefings for Elizabeth on all of the latest project developments to cataloging the latest miscellaneous bits of Ancient technology brought back by the away teams.

The night was when he could put those projects away and feel the thrumming of the city beneath his fingertips. It was the time when he could connect into the mainframe and conduct his own research in the database undisturbed. He could check on the Naqueda generators and the gate diagnostics to make sure that the heartbeat of the city was pulsing as strong as ever. The days, they ran in a jerky manner. Ten minutes here with a new recruit trying to master the Ancient language, a meeting or three with various departments, and maybe a malfunctioning air duct in one of the lesser-used parts of the city. The night was for breathing slow and deep and absorbing all of the things he could never get done during the day.

He popped a head into the room that Zelenka had claimed as his own corner of their lab to see if the Czech wanted to join him for a coffee run. The lights were off and his laptop wasn't on the desk. When Zelenka was around and just out of the lab he always left his station set up, trusting that no one would interfere with his work. Its absence suggested that he had also called it a night some time ago. Rodney shrugged. Getting alone time was the reason for working late, so he couldn't exactly complain about the rare occasions when he went looking for companionship at these hours. He had yet to meet anyone who kept the same extreme hours as he tended to do. That was why he scheduled lunches with Sheppard and the rest of the team in his planner right alongside the department meetings and everything else that kept him running around the city. If he didn't, he'd be the resident hermit in the city.

Rodney crossed the lab and exited into the hallway that connected all of the sections of the city on this level, strolling toward the transporter. The floor hummed beneath his feet, the rumblings of the engines deep beneath the city that kept Atlantis from rocking with the waves on which it perched. It was something that he often forgot about; this ship was literally its own island in the sea. He didn't take it for granted now, the protection this place provided. Off world, he'd been one man on the waves, gripping the hull of the small boat and praying that the next wave didn't topple the canoe and dump him into a watery grave.

As he strolled along the hallway he ran a hand along the wall, letting the vibrations run through his fingertips and up through his arms and along his spine. He'd have missed this if he hadn't made it back, although he supposed he wouldn't have been alive to miss it. But he'd have missed having _this _experience one last time. It was like Carson taking the pulse of his patients by hand, or Sheppard taking the time to train the new recruits when they first arrived despite the fact that his rank would have allowed him to shift the responsibility to someone else without any questions being asked. They were all an integral part of the expedition, the soldiers relied on Sheppard to give them direction that might save their lives one day; Beckett put their beaten and worn bodies back together despite the attempts of the Pegasus galaxy to break them down.

And this city…this city, as much as it supported and protected them against Wraith invasions and storms, the weight of the city also rested neatly between his shoulders. When a little piece of it was malfunctioning, it was his hands which conducted the mechanical surgeries to root out the problem and restore the city to its fully functioning capacity. As much as the sick relied on Beckett, as much as civilians and soldiers relied on Sheppard, the city was his. Sitting out there in the monsoon; the sickening feeling had plagued him, that he wouldn't see his teammates, that he wouldn't see his friends. But there was also a deep-seeded dread that he'd never feel this thrumming beneath his feet again. While everyone was asleep in their beds, he wandered the city sometimes, the keeper watching his ward, the gentle humming of the engines reassuring him that his job for the night was done.

Rodney inhaled a sharp breath and rubbed at his bare arms. He probably should've brought a jacket along for this little jaunt. The hot coffee had warmed his blood while he' been in the lab, but without it, that cold sensation was sinking into his bones again. It was just tickling his senses now, goose bumps dotted his arms. Maybe it was just the hallway that was cold. He popped into the nearest room. It was empty and there was a bed, and really that's all the he needed, maybe, the chance to let his city watch over him as he slept, her thrumming accompanying him into unconsciousness.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

A banging sound of the door abruptly dragged Sheppard into the realm of consciousness. He muttered a curse under his breath. Whoever was at his door had better have a damn good reason for waking him up, at what time? He rolled over onto his side to turn the clock on the bed stand toward him and he groaned. It was past midnight. Granted, by normal standards, that wasn't late. But when he'd spent the whole afternoon and a good portion of the evening with a set of new marines drilling on the mainland, it was a different issue. He'd been ready to collapse into bed around eleven. He used to laugh when his commanding officers said they went to bed early. He never thought you could get tired yelling at people and telling them what to do, but keeping everyone organized was mentally taxing. And he didn't just stand around either, he liked to participate in the training sessions to build camaraderie with his troops and get to know them better. But that made getting woken up like this a very unpleasant experience.

"Sheppard, are you in there," he heard a muffled shout through the door.

"Hold you're horses, I'm coming!" He rubbed his eyes a few times and gave the mental command, aided by his gene, to raise the lights to about half way. No need to blind himself just yet. He snagged a discarded t-shirt off his desk chair and wrestled his way into it before stumbling over to the door and opening it.

"This had better be important," he muttered to the person outside.

Zelenka took a small gulp as he took in the disheveled appearance of the grumpy looking Sheppard, "Colonel, uh, I seem to have run into a problem…"

"Better be a bigger problem than I'm having with the fact that you woke me up in the middle of a night," John grumbled.

Zelenka shifted his weight from one foot to the other nervously, "I, uh, seem to have lost Rodney…"

Half-hooded eyes opened all the way at that and he made direct eye contact with the scientist, "What are you talking about? He should be sleeping now, unless he's started sleep walking which would leave us with a whole new host of issues…"

"We were working in the lab, late tonight. Rodney always claims he gets more work done when the lab's empty. I stepped out for about thirty minutes to run a diagnostic, and when I came back, he was gone."

The colonel muttered a curse under his breath, of all the times for Rodney to decide to embrace his independence streak, now was not the time. Not when he was still recovering from the last away mission gone terribly wrong. "Does it look like he packed up for the night?"

Radek shook his head, "No, his computer was still on."

Sheppard motioned for Zelenka to follow him into his room as he turned toward his closet to retrieve one of his uniform shirts and swap it out with his t-shirt, "And you tried his radio?" he asked, looking at Zelenka.

Zelenka looked a bit bewildered, like he'd suddenly been allowed into forbidden territory. Sheppard could understand his discomfort, for the most part their relationship was purely work-related. Seeing where and how someone lived was a more intimate experience. Unfortunately, the need to multitask outweighed the need to maintain strict worker relationship boundaries. He stepped out of his sweatpants and into a pair of combat pants as Radek was looking away, not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.

The man finally responded, "It was still on his desk. I don't know why he would've left it."

Sheppard finished smoothing out his uniform and sighed, "Ok, we'll track him down then. Beckett still doesn't want him out and about on his own yet. He wants someone hanging out with McKay until these recurring bouts of him getting suddenly chilled stop happening."

Zelenka nodded, "We should try his subcutaneous transmitter."

As Zelenka turned to head out of the room Sheppard jogged to catch up to him by the entrance and fell into step next to him as he fitted his radio into his ear, "You didn't try that already?"

Zelenka shook his head, "New security protocols, we need a senior staff member to activate the signal on a sub-q transmitter. There were apparently a few abuses…one of our scientists who had access to the codes was using them to stalk one of the female botanists…"

"Oh…" Sheppard trailed off. He could see where that could get them into sticky situation. "I have one of these codes?"

Zelenka threw him a sideways glance, eyebrow raised, "You didn't read the memo on the new protocol?"

"Uh, I've been training the marines lately. Kinda fell behind on the paperwork."

"It should be the same as whatever code you use for everything else, like the city self-destruct sequence. McKay chose to keep it simple when he set the program up at Elizabeth's request. He figured not everyone was as good at remembering long complex sequences of numbers as we are."

"Fair enough," Sheppard agreed as they reached the control room. It was quiet, as it was most nights this late. A gate tech was playing a game of solitaire on the computer. Not that Sheppard could blame the man; they'd had excitement in here during the night shift once, maybe twice, since they'd first gotten here. Zelenka politely asked the tech manning the control station to move aside so he could start the program to activate Rodney's transmitter. After about a minute he nodded over at Sheppard, the Colonel crossed over to the station and began inputting his security clearance code. As he finished, a screen popped up with a map of the city. Zelenka analyzed the readout and frowned as he looked up at Sheppard, "The city's sensors aren't picking up his transmitter."

"And that means what; he's not in the city? He's gone for a late night swim with the dolphins?"

Zelenka looked back to the screen as he typed out a few more inputs, "Still nothing. There are a series of pockets in the city limits where the sensors are currently offline; one of our long term projects has been getting them all working again."

"Is Rodney working on this project where he might have gone out to fix one of these malfunctioning sensors?"

Zelenka stopped typing and looked up, "No, I'm overseeing that project. He would've sent me out if there was a problem that required immediate attention."

"Alright then, time to wake some folks up and organize a search party. I'll get started on that, can you keep working to see if you can get the sensors to pick up his signal?"

Zelenka nodded.

Sheppard tapped his radio, "Alright, keep me updated. Let's find out missing scientist."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	11. And People Found

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 11 – And People Found

Sheppard was seated in the meeting room adjacent to Elizabeth's office when she entered the room and sat down at her designated chair at the end of the table. Not that the chair had her name on it, but it was just universally known, it was _her _seat. She'd listened to difficult conversations from her staff from that vantage point, made even more difficult decisions. She'd given condolences to department heads for lives lost and held in her had the ability to decide the future of the entire Atlantis expedition.

And with the weight of all of this behind her, she lowered herself into the chair and rolled it up to the table to begin another such deliberation. Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla, Beckett, Bates, and Zelenka stopped what they'd been doing to entertain themselves while they waited for her to arrive and all eyes turned to her. "Alright guys, what do you have for me? We didn't bring Rodney back from that planet just to lose him again on our home turf."

Sheppard began speaking first, "Bates and I have been coordinating a systematic sweep of the city. We've had search teams check the most widely-used areas of the city already and we're preparing to branch out into the lesser-travelled regions."

She nodded, "And we're taking appropriate precautions for teams out in previously unexplored areas if it comes to that?"

Bates answered, "Of course. We have one or two scientists with every team evaluating any unusual tech encountered, same protocol as for routine exploratory missions."

John answered after that, "But we're not really stopping to investigate, we're out there to find Rodney, not play with new shiny toys."

There was an assortment of nods from around the table. After the motions stopped Elizabeth responded, "And have we found any signs of him so far?"

Sheppard's expression dipped into something suggesting disappointment, "Not yet. But we're narrowing down the regions that he could be in. If he's not in the places we've already searched he's got to be in the areas that are left."

Zelenka watched him with a skeptical glare, "Colonel, we are talking Rodney here. He is just as likely to have fallen into a hole off some unexplored pier as to be somewhere we might actually expect him to be. We have still not even begun to explore more than sixty percent of the city. If he's in one of those regions the chances of us finding him decrease exponentially…"

"Well I'm glad we're being so optimistic here, Zelenka. I'd, for one, like to think that we stand a chance of finding him," Sheppard snapped back, bristling.

Zelenka kept his cool expression, "I understand your sentiment, but we need to be realistic about our methodology. It's not enough, just doing sweeps."

"Ok, then how do you propose we switch up our search methods," Sheppard asked.

"I've had some of my team working on expanding the field of our life signs detectors; we think we've found a way to increase their range threefold. If we can get the modifications in place and distribute them to the teams then we can increase the efficiency of our search," Zelenka said in a bit more positive tone this time.

Elizabeth nodded, cutting in before the argument could escalate, "Very good Zelenka, we appreciate the work that your department is putting in." She looked around the table at a series of weary faces, "That goes for all of you. We're in this together and I am proud of the efforts you have put in."

Beckett spoke next, "Aye, we do need to be stepping up our search though. If Rodney's fallen unconscious in a colder area of the city…it'd not bode well. I'd prefer we find him sooner rather than later."

There was another murmur of agreements and the discussion continued. Ronon and Teyla and commented on their participation on the search teams and how they thought it was progressing. Zelenka promised to get some of the modified life signs detectors into the hands of the search volunteers before the hour was out. At the conclusion of the meeting spirits seemed a bit higher than when they had started. They had a plan, they had a city full of people to implement it, and they had hope that they'd find their friend alive and well.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Sheppard turned in a circle in the latest corridor they'd wandered down. They had begun with the standard procedure, calling out Rodney's name as they travelled down the hallway, life signs detector in the hands of the scientist accompanying them. The scientist had at first scoffed about the need for a verbal call, for if there was a human around the individual would register as a dot on the life signs detector. He'd been cut off midsentence into the explanation by an irritated Sheppard who commented with the idea that Rodney could be tucked away somewhere that was shielded from the detector's ability to identify live individuals. They hadn't encountered such a material in the city so far, but that didn't mean it wasn't out there. The city had a seemingly never-ending supply of surprises hidden in its depths.

He looked over at Ronon who wandered back into the group after a search of a room adjacent to the hallway. He shook his head as he met Sheppard's gaze. No words were necessary; the strained look in his eyes spoke volumes. Another negative. That seemed to be the only response he was getting tonight.

Sheppard took the lead, raising his weapon as they advanced down the corridor to allow the attached flashlight to illuminate the passage. "Rodney! If you're out there make a sound, bud. We'll find you…" he finished a bit softer. They'd find him.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Beckett nodded to the nurse manning the reception desk as he made another round past all of the beds in the infirmary. He almost wished for more patients at this particular moment. There was nothing going on to keep his mind occupied. He had one patient in, a pregnant Athosian who he had miscarried with her last child. She was due to deliver within the next few days and they were taking all of the precautions possible to prevent a repeat of her last pregnancy's tragedy. Beckett had great respect for the woman. He'd had the chance to talk with her at length in the almost weekly appointments he'd had her visit the city for since she had realized she was with child again. To overcome a previous loss of a child as she had and be ready to face the daunting process again…He was determined to deliver her a live child this time.

Carson stopped by her bed, she was breathing softly as she slumbered. All of the readouts were registering as normal so he reluctantly abandoned his post at the end of bed and continued on with his rounds. He passed a series of beds vacant beds. And he should be happy; this was one of the rare moments when all of the expedition was healthy. He was doing his job well. But, oh, what he would give for a surgery tonight. Even a simple one. Something to demand his attention instead of leaving him to wander through the infirmary like a ghost, pale faced and mute as his thoughts were again drawn back to his missing friend.

Maybe the man wouldn't be missing if he'd kept a closer eye on him, stressed the importance more for him not to go about unaccompanied. Maybe he could have ignored Rodney's complaints about the voodoo and the subpar food and just kept him admitted a few more days. Rodney would've had a much harder time disappearing from his infirmary. In the beginning he'd actually been naïve enough to assume that his patients would stay put. But put it to the members of Sheppard's team to defy that assumption and go AWOL more often than not. He'd picked up a few tricks along the way though. Putting an IV in made it harder for them to leave. It also hadn't hurt to reposition his nurse's stations on the most common escape routes the boys favored.

Beckett's wanderings halted as he found himself standing in front of the room he'd designated as Rodney's temporary living quarters while he'd been in residence in the infirmary…He knew it was silly, but maybe being where he'd last seen the man, it'd ease his mind a bit. It was the closest connection he had to the scientist and friend right now. With a sigh he took a step forward, the door automatically retracting as he entered and silently closing behind him.

The heat hit him right away. He responded by sliding his white jacket off and draping it over one of his arms. It was a bit ridiculous that he hadn't turned down the heat in here yet; a waste of energy; Rodney would berate him for it if he were here. But after the first relapse he had decided to keep the room on reserve in case a similar recurrence happened, to have it ready on hand in case it was called for.

He shook his head. Ach, coming in here had done nothing to alleviate his worrying. If anything it'd just increased the prevalence of the thought in his head. His friend was out there in the city, maybe safe, maybe not. And the most he could do was stand here like a fool hoping his friend would magically reappear before his eyes. No, there were better uses of his time. Maybe he would volunteer to join one of the search teams. There were civilians participating in the search already and a few of them would need to be relieved to rest soon enough.

He turned to exit the dark room when a sudden sound made him pause mid-step. He turned his head to see if he would hear it again or verify that it was just a figment of his imagination. No, there it was again…It sounded like a faint snoring perhaps? Had one of his staff decided to drop in for a nap?

He gave the mental command to raise the lights. They flickered twice; he was still getting the hang of using his Ancient gene. What came naturally to Sheppard and some of the other expedition members was almost impossible for him.

He moved toward the bed, there was a body in it. He silently slunk around to the other side of the bed to get a good look at the person who was resting on his side, turned away toward the opposite wall. His breath hitched, "Rodney?"

The figure on the bed didn't rouse and his medical intuition immediately took over. He quickly poked his head out of the room and shouted for a nurse to bring the necessary diagnostic equipment to evaluate his patient. As he saw the nurse rise from her post in a flurry to answer his call he retreated back into the room and moved back over to Rodney's side.

The man seemed to be breathing fine if the snoring was anything to judge by. His next concern was a recurrence of the hypothermia. Without a thermometer nearby he settled for resting the back of his hand against his friend's forehead. He nodded as he observed that it seemed ok.

Rodney's facial expression shifted when Carson withdrew his hand. A lip curled up and a moment later Beckett saw slits of blue as the scientist flitted his eyes open, "Carson," he asked weakly.

"Aye, everything ok here Rodney," he asked a bit more anxiously than he probably intended. The last few hours had certainly done nothing toward helping him maintain a calm demeanor.

Rodney yawned a few times and then pushed himself up into a sitting position, "Fine. Everything's fine," he muttered a bit sleepily as he shook the last traces from unconsciousness from his muddled mind.

Beckett was still watching the man with a critical eye for anything that might suggest a health issue that needed to be addressed; he needed to get caught up to speed here. "You sure lad? You don't normally make trips down here voluntarily. Is there something you wanted to see me about?"

"I'm fine Carson. Really," Rodney answered a bit more firmly this time now that he was totally awake.

Carson nodded, "Then care to tell me why you are in here? You've gotten everyone in quite a frenzy. Half the city is out searching for you. We thought you were missing, maybe hurt somewhere."

Rodney immediately met Beckett's gaze, perhaps comprehending the full situation now, "I was working late…and then I was a bit cold and tired and here was closer than my room. I just thought I'd take a cat nap in here," he answered with a guilty expression on his face, "I didn't mean to cause a panic."

Beckett moved up to the railing now, not liking that his patient had been cold enough to seek the warmth of this room again, "Are you having another recurrence of the hypothermia, you think?"

"I don't know, it was just cold. I was working late," he answered without really providing the doctor with any useful information. "Did I really cause everyone to panic?"

"Aye, but you don't need to be worrying about that. You didn't mean for it to happen. I'll let them know to call off the search."

Rodney seemed to relax a bit more at this, yawning again, "Thanks, Carson."

"Think nothing of it lad. You wait here. I'm going to step out and let the colonel know we've found you and then I'll be back in. We'll take a good look at you to make sure everything's in order before we let you nod off again," he said confidently.

Rodney nodded and let his eyes slide halfway shut, paying the Scottish man no attention as he silently withdrew from the room and tapped his radio once the doors closed behind him. There was a hiss of static that caused Beckett to wince a bit at the sudden noise, "Sheppard, you there? This is Carson."

Another hiss of static, they must be further out in the city, he thought. But then he finally got a response. _"Yeah doc, we're still looking. Nothing so far. What can I do for you?"_

"That's actually why I was calling. It seems Rodney wandered down to the infirmary sometime during the night. I found him in one of our isolation rooms sleeping."

"_I hear you right, Carson? You said you found him?"_

"Aye, I spoke with him briefly. He was just looking for somewhere warm to take a nap and the infirmary was closest."

"_Carson, that's the best news I've had all night. Thank god. He's ok,"_ the colonel asked, a sense of urgency sneaking into his voice.

"Aye, he seems fine. I check him over to be sure but he looked ok."

"_Ok. I'll start calling in the search teams. Any idea why we didn't pick up his presence there when we ran a search for his subcutaneous transmitter in the city?"_

"Ach, I didn't even think of that. I had Zelenka and Rodney set it up as a privacy curtain, after that debacle with one of the scientists spying on a botanist I figured it'd be best that no one could see who was down here with me. The transmitters don't register when someone is in the infirmary."

"_Well, that certainly explains a lot. I suppose it doesn't matter now. He's safe, that's what counts. I'll be down there in person as soon as get back. We're pretty far out on one of the piers."_

"Aye, take your time, lad. Rodney seems tired. He'll probably be sleeping by the time you get here but you'll be welcome to sit with him for awhile if you'd like."

"_Thanks doc,"_ Sheppard added. "_Never a dull moment with Rodney. Trust him to do something strange, like actually following medical advice, to throw us for a loop. I'll see you in a bit. Sheppard out."_

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


	12. The Apple Falls Close to the Tree

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Reckless Abandon**

Chapter 12 – The Apple Falls Close to the Tree

McKay had found a rock in the greenhouse to serve as a makeshift bench. He stretched his legs out in front of him, trying to shake some feeling into a leg that had fallen asleep.

There was a rustling of leaves behind him and he turned away from the plant life surrounding him to see what had caused the disturbance. Sheppard had pushed a branch upward as he walked underneath to prevent it from hitting him in the face as he moved toward Rodney. "You know McKay, you're a hard guy to find sometimes. The least you could do is keep a consistent routine."

McKay threw him a confused expression, "I keep it pretty tame. I'm usually in my computer lab, the mess, or my room sleeping."

Sheppard brushed a few rocks aside on the ground and sat down on the ground next to McKay's rock, "Right. See, the greenhouse doesn't really strike me as a place you would frequent. No computers, no exciting Ancient tech you can play with. See where I might get a little confused," he asked in a joking tone.

"I suppose you might have a potentially valid argument. I'm still off duty, as per Carson's orders so I've had to find new ways of entertaining myself."

"And you decided to embrace the literal interpretation of 'smelling the flowers?'"

Mckay nodded to the tree he'd been watching since he'd been down here, "Newton's been hanging out in this corner of the greenhouse, I thought I'd come down to pay him a visit."

Sheppard looked in the direction McKay had indicated to see a lizard perched on one of the branches, collecting the sunlight streaming in through the glass roof, "That the lizard from the planet that you were all snuggled up with when we found you?"

"We were not snuggling for your information," McKay argued defensively, "He was cold and I was warming him up."

"Right, you were snuggling to share body heat," he said with a chuckle.

"I give up. You're hopeless!" McKay threw his hands up in the air.

"So why Newton?"

"Don't tell me you don't recognize the name. If you don't know who that is, I don't think I can still be friends with you and consider myself a serious member of the scientific community."

Sheppard rolled his eyes, "Of course I know who he is. He made up some equations I remember learning about in high school…"

"_And_ he researched the elliptical motion of planets and optics among other things. There's hardly an area of science that wasn't influenced by his work."

"Ok, ok. I get it; he's the celebrity of the science world. Before we digressed into a history lesson you were getting to tell me about how you picked that name."

"Right, well, there's that ridiculous legend that Newton discovered gravity when an apple fell on his head. I figured it was an appropriate name for our reptilian friend, since he fell out of a palm tree and landed in my boat."

Sheppard's lips parted in an open-mouthed, goofy grin, "Your pet lizard fell out of the sky?"

"Ok, when you say it like that it does sound a bit ridiculous…" he admitted, sitting up a bit straighter and cracking his back before sliding off his rock and scooting over to a nearby tree next to Sheppard where he leaned back against the trunk.

"So what happens to 'Newton?'" John asked, still getting used to referring to the animal by the name. It seemed so strange to him that Rodney would've taken a liking to the creature. Rodney was usually all about avoiding anything that could be considered remotely cute. Now here he was visiting one in the greenhouse of all places. If he hadn't seen this himself, he would have bet anyone in the city they would have to pay Rodney to get him to step foot in here.

"The botanists want to keep him. They seem to have adopted him as their unofficial mascot. So far he hasn't done any damage to the plants they're raising in the greenhouse and they say he's boosted the number of people coming down here."

Sheppard took a moment to watched Rodney's body language for a moment. His friend looked…relaxed, which was a change over how he'd been acting recently. He'd seemed tense ever since returning from being stranded off world. Rodney had immediately changed the subject the past few times he'd tried to talk to him about the mission gone awry. Sheppard had eventually taken the hint and stopped asking. But that hadn't stopped him from wincing a bit inside every time he saw Rodney acting unsure of himself, not wanting to be alone sometimes, other times wandering off without a second thought. But this…this was the Rodney he knew. The man was half-reclined against the tree, the tension seeming to have melted away and all that was left was an almost uncharacteristically mellow version of the scientist who was usually moving in a flurry of activity. "Seems you're not the only one who's taking a liking to the little guy," Sheppard responded.

"Eh, can't blame the botanists, they must get lonely down here. It's not like the plants are worth coming down here for. They just sit there, not too exciting. At least Newton moves around between stopping to sunbathe."

John nodded, "That explains them, his presence here is boosting their P.R., but what about you? You've never been an animal person in the past…"

Rodney shrugged, "I don't know…Being out there, it does put things in perspective. That was really the first time I was _alone _in a situation like that. Usually it's all of us in the same snafu together. And when he showed up, well, he might just be a lizard, but a reptile for company is better than none at all."

"You knew we would come back for you though, right? We weren't going to leave you there," John added as soon as Rodney finished. They wouldn't ever have left him out there.

"I didn't know what had happened to you guys, Sheppard," he said, tearing his attention away from the iguana and turning it fully onto the colonel.

"McKay, we didn't purposely leave you out there, some sort of auto sequence overtook the jumper controls and directed us through the gate and the city wouldn't let us dial back once we were through."

McKay nodded rapidly, "I know the specifics. I've gone through the data many times myself, there wasn't any way you could have overridden it," he cut off for a moment, thinking. "But I didn't know that when I was out there. Add in the hypothermia and I wasn't quite in my right mind."

Rodney stood up and walked across the path to the tree where the lizard was perched on a branch. He picked Newton up and carried him back over to where Sheppard was sitting, plopping back down against the tree with the lizard in his lap. "This guy was the only company I had. I thought you guys might have thought that I wasn't worth waiting for anymore and had decided to pack it in and leave," he finished in a soft tone.

Sheppard took a deep breath, "McKay, you're a member of my team. I wouldn't have left you."

"I _know _that…but the circumstances…I kept making up all these different stories about where you might have gone. But there was the wind and the rain and the ocean and every second I was worrying about freezing to death or the boat getting flipped. When you're in a situation like that, you start needing someone to blame, and if there isn't a clear person to dump the situation on, well, someone gets unfairly blamed."

"And you blamed us," Sheppard said in a tone that openly expressed how McKay's statement had wounded him.

"I-It's hard to explain. My mind was all over the place. I was holding out for you to come back, really, that's what kept me going. But…you were gone when I returned from the beach. And I was on that rock all by myself with a rickety canoe and an iguana for a sidekick. I had to wonder where you'd gone."

Sheppard was sitting rigidly straight now and moved to sit in front of McKay on the ground so they were having this conversation face to face, "We didn't stop trying to get back to that forsaken planet. You were there wondering if we were coming back? We were here wondering if you would still be there when we finally found a way back to the planet. I get that that's not as intense as what you were experiencing; I was warm and dry here in the city. But that didn't make the dread any less real and it's not fair to blame us for what happened," he finished sharply.

"Sheppard, understand what I'm saying. When I was delirious, yes, the thought went through my mind that maybe you would've dumped me there. But I'm in my right mind now and I know you wouldn't have done that. I've seen you almost kill yourself to ensure the safety of total strangers. You take protective to a whole new level. And you came back and there was no more wonderful feeling in the world than to put those doubts to rest. You came back. That's all that matters," he said as he twirled the lizard's tail between his fingers.

Sheppard nodded, "Ok. We're a team, first and foremost. We will never leave one of our own behind as long as there's a sliver of a chance that we could get them back. You get that?" he asked, clapping McKay on the shoulder.

"I do," Rodney said, confidently this time, "We're a family too, or the closest thing to pass for one out here."

"Good," Sheppard added, "And I guess Newton here is the newest addition?" he asked, lowering a hand to pet the animal's scaly skin. The lizard whipped his head around and flared out his neck frills, causing Sheppard to pull his hand back in surprise.

Rodney laughed, and the sound warmed Sheppard inexplicably. "Newton might take a bit longer to reciprocate the feeling. Me and him, we had quality bonding time out on that planet."

"Right…so I need to go find a canoe and row around the city with him for a few hours to forge a bond with the little dude? I don't know if I'm that dedicated."

"Oh don't be so dramatic. He's stopped nipping at the botanists finally, just pop in to visit him once in awhile," Rodney said as he released the lizard and watched it scuttle across the path and into a bush. Rodney stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants.

Sheppard rose and followed suit, "But we're ok now?"

Rodney nodded, "We're ok."

"Good, because it would be a little awkward saying this if things were still odd between us. Newton there? I can see why you two gets along so well, you two are both cut from the same vein. Only difference is you chew people out verbally, he chooses to take the more literal route. It's obvious the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

-THE END-

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


End file.
